Comparative Essay: the Metamorphosis, Divergent and Holes

Fried banana, a piece of flattened banana that was dipped into batter, then dropped in the sizzling hot pot of oil. This crispy oil-soaked snack was my childhood favorite, whether it was a reward after a long day of school or a bribe from my parents after crying a river. It was after consuming it for the majority of my five years on earth did I realize fried food was my thing. Whether it be banana, potato, fish, or eggs basically anything submerged in oil was in my domain. Luckily living in Vietnam at the time access to these fried delicacies was only a few steps away. So you could realize my utter disappointment after moving to the US and finding out that fried bananas weren't just around the corner anymore.

Fortunately, I found an almost perfect substitute, funnel cake. After years of viewing this fried batter dessert through a screen, it was finally my turn to experience it myself at the county fair. I vividly remember receiving the plate with the piping hot cake decorated with strawberries and whipped cream. With much enthusiasm, I realized it was finally the moment I had been waiting for, so I rushed to take the first bite waiting for my taste buds to be on cloud 9. Nonetheless, my excitement came to a halting stop while I was faced with complete disappointment, as I tried swallowing the piece without throwing up in front of everyone. It had to be a mistake, there’s no way I could’ve disliked deep-fried batter that was topped with powdered sugar, whipped cream, and strawberries. So with high expectations, I once again took another bite hoping that I was mistaken. Still, with all my efforts my body had seemed to have other plans and plainly rejected the cake.

Now you might be wondering how my experience with funnel cake would even remotely relate to the frequently asked question, “who are you?”.  It’s a question that I’ve been asked throughout my life and as I grow older I thought it would become easier to answer such a question thanks to all the knowledge I’ve gained. Yet even that was untrue since time has only added more confusion to my quest in finding my identity. As time passes I grew to learn that there’s so much out there that I’ve yet to discover. Just like when I had thought I had it all figured out by accepting that liking fried food was a part of who I am, these new discoveries appear and turn my world upside down just like the funnel cake.

In the beginning, I hated these discoveries because they would break down my existing world views. They were direct contradictions of what I thought I knew. It was as if I had put all of my efforts into going along one path for these revelations to open up others for me to choose from. With all of these new paths, it became difficult to know which one was right and which one was wrong. Rather than seeing these new paths as obstacles in my journey, trying to trick me, I quickly realize they are actually blessings in disguise by granting me new opportunities.

They authorized me to explore more about the world I live in and experience things for the first time. For the past 18 years I’ve experienced many of my firsts, and so with each new first-time experience came a safe environment enabling me to make mistakes. Through these mistakes, I can acquire various valuable lessons.

My first time trying to make fried banana at home after being disappointed by the funnel cake was what you would call a disaster. The kitchen was like a war zone as I used the lid as a shield for the splattering oil. After a minute of failing to approach the stovetop, I had feared that I was going to burn the kitchen down so the only solution was to call for none other than my mom. It was at that moment when I was hiding behind my mom as she was approaching the stovetop that I learned a very important lesson. That day I learned that although fried bananas are good, I value my kitchen more, so I should just wait until I go back to Vietnam to satisfy my cravings. In the end, my point is even when these new discoveries or experiences weren’t the best, they still benefited my growth and aided my search for who I am.

Don’t get me wrong however as these findings also brought me great joy rather than just useful lessons. Through some of my first-time experiences, I was exposed to the trillings that came with roller coasters and haunted houses as well as encountered a sense of calmness as I was introduced to painting and clay sculpting.  Along with my valuable lessons, these new discoveries allowed me to explore other aspects of myself such as my likes, dislikes, and skills. As you already know there’s a lot when it comes to finding out who you are, as there are countless aspects that make up your identity.

Having that being said I think I’ve come a long way from where I used to be on this long journey of finding myself. I had believed that once I’ve accomplished this search of mine, I would feel complete and more confident in who I am. Yet as I get closer to figuring out who I am I couldn’t have been more wrong. Nonetheless, another important lesson I’ve learned from all of my discoveries was to be open-minded. I’ve ultimately accepted that I’ll never truly find out who I am as I’ll always be constantly changing along with my new discoveries. Although the past, present, and future me will all be different in some aspect they’ll still all be Kerri. Just like how the past me didn’t like funnel cake however the present me does. I can't say for sure who I am, however I know for a fact that any form of me will still be me.