Diary Of A Mad Black Woman Movie Analysis

“When somebody hurts you, they take power over you, if you don’t forgive them, then they keeps the power” is a phrase in Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman that resonated with me. A lot of us can identify with books, TV shows, soap operas, plays, or even movies, a movie that I can relate to is Diary of a Mad Black Woman. This movie is about Helen who is married to Charles for 18 years and after so long he decides to kick Helen out and stay with his mistress. Helen must now learn how to take care of herself and overcome the betrayal of her husband and forgive him to be happy with Orlando who will show her the love that she deserves. I can relate to this movie because of the hidden lifestyle, anger, and healing process it portrays. 

One of the ways that I relate to this movie is by this hidden lifestyle that Helen portrays. Helen is portrayed as a happily married woman living a beautiful lavish lifestyle. Helen is getting ready to attend an event where her husband Charles will be recognized. Once they arrive at the event and Charles is recognized he thinks everyone but makes sure to praise his wife and mentions that he could have not done it without the love and support of his wife. After mingling with the guests Charles and Helen head home, but Helen wants to continue celebrating him at home. As they pull into the driveway of this majestic home Charles agrees he wants to spend the rest of the night celebrating himself. Therefore, he dropped Helen off and will venture off to enjoy the rest of his night with his mistress celebrating his success with her. Charles reminds Helen that this is all a farce and that he hasn’t touched her in a long time, and he should be able to celebrate the way that he wants. Similarly, I depicted my life with my partner as this loving relationship. An instance where I masked the reality of my relationship was when I had to attend a family gathering. I began by getting my daughter’s diaper bag ready and getting her ready. I then proceeded to get ready and made sure I had everything ready so when my partner arrived, we would only wait on him to get ready, and we would leave so he wouldn’t have to wait on me. When my partner arrived, he began to get ready, and once ready he didn’t want to go. He began by saying why we needed to attend this gathering that I didn’t even look nice that he was embarrassed to be seen with me because when he compared me to all the women in my family, I was the only one that looked like a slob. He then shoved me angrily and said, “you know I’m only doing this, so your family doesn’t think that it’s because of me that we do not attend this gathering.” We arrived at my family gathering and pretended to be overcome with joy to be there as we smiled. My partner proceeded on through the event as if he was ecstatic to be there at one point, he even said how he enjoys these gatherings and wished that we would gather every weekend. I sat there with a smile on my face at different moments saying how nice he is how we're happy yet behind that farce I felt this anger and sadness knowing that he was comparing me to the people that I loved. Like Helen, I hid what my life was like to everyone around me but depicting a mirage of a happy life will only lead to a collection of anger.

This brings me to my second similarity between the movie and my life anger. We see Helen’s anger shown in the scene when she intends to help Charles after he was shot. Charles was hired by a criminal to defend him and keep him out of prison the criminal warned Charles that if he was incarcerated, he would pay. During the trial the criminal was found guilty and sentenced to prison as the police proceeded to handcuff the criminal but the criminal was able to obtain the police’s gun and shot Charles. Helen found out that Charles was shot and proceeded to the hospital and asked the doctors to do everything in their hands to save him. The shot that Charles received left him paralyzed from his neck down. Helen initially wanted to help Charles as his mistress had left him after his injury. Helen tries to help Charles, but he doesn’t want her help and instead demeaned her and told her that she was useless. This angered Helen and she began to take her anger out on Charles by depriving him of food, cleanliness, and mocking him. At one point we see Helen throw Charles in the tub so he can clean himself as he has urinated on himself. Charles unable to move slowly starts sinking into the water, as he sinks, he is trying to stay afloat and breathe and begins to make bubbles. This angers Helen and she screams at him “stop making those bubbles.” Like Helen, I would also get angry after so much disrespect, but my anger would manifest differently. During much of my relationship, my partner would demean me calling me stupid, saying how useless and worthless I was. One day I was cleaning my apartment when my partner arrived, and he was on a call he saw me and decide to sit outside on our porch to continue his conversation. When he made his way in, he was angered and started to berate me and insult me because I was still cleaning, he said: “your so fucking useless you can’t even have the house clean by the time I get home, how stupid can you be don’t you know I am tired and want to relax.” This angered me I didn’t understand why it was my fault that whoever was on the other line angered him. Opposed to Helen I didn’t take this anger out on him but on myself, I went to the bathroom once he was asleep and cut myself telling myself if I would just do things right, he would have not screamed at me. How we deal with our anger will vary Helen took out her anger on Charles, but I took out my anger on myself. 

Lastly, besides a hidden life and anger, I related to the healing process that was shown in the movie. We are shown how Helen must struggle to begin all over and the hardship that she goes through to do this. After Helen is kicked out of her home she temporarily moves in with Madea. Helen must find a job but admits that she doesn't know how to do anything so the first job she was able to acquire was as a waitress. Helen has no way of getting home so she has been getting picked up by Brian but on one rainy night he was unable, so he sent Orlando to pick her up. Helen didn't want his help and initially refused the right, but Orlando insisted and told her that the bus would take an hour, so she then decided to accept his offer. Helen had a hard time accepting Orlando’s ride as she thinks all men are the same, but this is the beginning of her healing process as she then accepts an invitation from Orlando to get dinner. Helen says two phrases that I identify with which are “one day at a time seems too long” and “love you past your pain.” These phrases sink in because the process of healing does feel like one day is such a long one and connecting with people past your pain is something hard. The loss of confidence not only in others but in myself is hard to overcome. It’s a black hole that seems so deep to come out of but as time passes the hardship and hurt that have bounded one down seems weightless and easier to escape from. I began my healing journey by accepting that I was in an abusive relationship and decided to attend domestic violence classes. Having to express to others why you couldn’t leave an abusive relationship knowing that it was bad was hard to admit and do. The process of healing is hard and like Helen said one day does seem long, but we must love ourselves past our pain and grow and forgive ourselves to forgive others.

Therefore, I feel that a lot of what happened in the movies seems parallel to what I have encountered in my life. Helen went from pretending to live this happy marriage in this lavish house but was rudely awakened by being thrown out of her house and replaced by Charles and mistress. Yet through this transition, she had to learn how to become independent and learn how to trust and love. She began her healing by trusting and accepting Orlando’s love and by letting go of the anger that she felt towards Charles. Hiding behind an imaginary life to conceal the anger that you live with only makes the healing process much longer and harder but forgiving oneself will help you regain the strength you need to move on.