Essay About Rose Mary In The Glass Castle

Children are meant to leave their parents behind. To leave the nest is a popular term, with children leaving their parent’s protection and flying into the real world once they are old enough. It is a universal experience, with every adult being able to tell their own experience. Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle, a memoir, tells the story of her fragmented family and her journey into how she became independent from them. Through the use of irony Jeannette explores the idea that children growing up and becoming disillusioned with the world their parents made for them is necessary in order to become independent from them.

The doubt caused by Rose Mary’s neglect enables the growth of Jeannette and her siblings as they attempt to navigate childhood while being forced to provide for themselves. Forcing her to grow due to his neglect of her physical needs by the hand of their mother only spurs the Walls’ children’s independence. Jeannette’s mother is neglectful and is shown to care more about herself than her children, often ignoring their needs while continuing to provide for herself. She refuses to get a job despite them constantly needing money in order to survive. This seems to be a running trend with Rose Mary, when in welch she “got angry. She was saving it, she said, to butter the bread. We already ate the bread. . . It was because of my and Lori’s selfishness, she said, that if we had any bread, we’d have to eat it without butter.”(69) Rose Mary is selfish, again forcing her children to take drastic measures just to feed themselves. Her misdirected blame is absurd, avoiding her own neglect by blaming them for eating when hungry. The irony in her waiting for ingredients to cook bread with when she does not have the means to cook it tells of someone in denial of her own negligence. This teaches her children not to rely on her for consistency to provide or anything similar. While not a good basis for a healthy relationship, it prepares the Walls children later on when they have to make ends meet and provide for themselves in New York. While cruel and selfish, it could be said that Rose Mary’s selfishness allowed the Walls’ children to be better prepared in taking care of themselves in New York as adults. The lack of physical needs sets up a lack of baseline for the children to rely on their parents, instead building their own.

Rose Mary’s individualistic nature allows her children to see past her motherly role. Her inherently selfish actions under the guise of caring for her children are ultimately her self-destruction, as it repeatedly puts her in the position of the antagonist in the children’s eyes. However, when confronted by Jeannette, Rose Mary breaks down and Rex attempts to defend her saying ““She’s your mother.” “Then why doesn’t she act like one?” I looked at Dad for what felt like a very long moment.”(Walls 219-220 ) Rose Mary clearly finds her drive and integrity over her own children’s needs and wants, to the point where they must learn to make money at an early age despite their mother being healthy and able to provide for them. Her stubbornness and lack of drive to be a mother allows Laurie to take charge, still a child and struggling to feed herself. Her actions allow Jeannette to fully realize the position her and her siblings are in, and make it all the easier for her to ignore her mother in her self-inflicted homelessness. This cycle of denial and neglect perpetuates itself to the point where Rose Mary and her children’s relationship are completely torn.

The emotional and mental wellbeing of the Walls largely rests on the facade built by Rex, which when confronted and broken leads the children to confront what needs to be done for the greater good. Both Rex and Rose Mary promote the idea of an adventure, which prompts the idea that any injury or bad circumstance of living is just part of the charm while they in reality are in serious danger to their health and mental wellness. When this breaks, so do the children’s belief in their parents. When Rex brings Brian to a brothel, Brian is forced to confront the fact that “Dad had taken him out for his birthday awhile back…Dad and Ginger went into the bedroom while Brian stayed in the front room and read his new comic book.” (79) Despite it being his own son’s birthday, Rex fails to consider how his actions will affect his children, creating a burden on Brian to not tell while also building resentment towards him. The irony of him taking his son out to a nice place to eat then leaving to sleep with someone other than his wife not only makes him unfaithful, but entirely negligent. The separation of his reliable fake persona in the face of his selfishness makes it all too easy for Brian to cut his father off later in life. The reliable persona Rex built during the Walls children’s childhood was never meant to last as they got older. It is an inevitability for parents, whether intentional or not, to allow their children the circumstances to grow into a more adult headspace.

Ultimately, the methods parents use in order to build themselves up in front of their children will eventually be used against them, as it is what will be associated with childhood and cast away with it. Whether to be seen as invincible, reliable, or perfect, parents will strive to keep their children safe by building a persona that will protect them. Rex has built a persona as a reliable father; with his iconic phrase, “Have I ever let you down?”(78, 210, 279 ) it is ironic, considering how every consistent failure to live up to any promises causes the children to lose faith in any life that can be built as long as their parents are there to interfere. It is the final deciding factor that causes them to move, as they have all realized they have enough experience to be independent from their parents. While it is considered a moral failing to some, it is undeniable that the Walls children were able to find success in New York despite the troubles in their youth. When parents fail to live up to the emotional and mental needs of their children, it is only expected that those children leave them for their own stability.

Jeannette’s life and memoir reveal the irony that children must grow past the protection parents put from them in order to grow up. While every parent wants their children to be safe, and provide for them, it's an inevitability that they will grow up. The Walls’ childhood may have been objectively unsafe, but their beginning experiences were under the guise of fantasy and adventure, a mental protection for their psyches. While the Walls’ family was torn apart and cleaved by their dysfunctional lifestyle, even without family issues, a child is bound to grow out of the world their parents made for them.