Essay on Holden’s Diagnosis

Hopelessness, self-disgust and self-hatred consumes the mind, every waking moment, every dream. One such as American musician Michael Anthony may claim that the chest tightens, closing the lungs, breathing becomes impossible, it’s too suffocating to survive. His famous quote, “Am I awake or dreaming? It doesn’t matter anymore. When I close my eyes I dream of death and war. When I open my eyes I see death and war”, adds to the common theme in mental illnesses, the inability to separate thoughts from reality. People who suffer from mental disorders develop hopelessness and begin to think the worst of every situation, causing self sabotaging actions. Holden from the Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger dreams and witnesses death and war, along with hopelessness. He has been through traumatic experiences such as a loss of brother and developed a pessimistic outlook on life. He has a low self esteem, craves innocence, hates change and is self destructive. Based on Holden’s experiences and actions a psychoanalyst may diagnose Holden with PTSD, due to his past trauma causing him to be nauseous around certain memories and have strong feelings of guilt, as well as depression as he tends to isolate himself and has constant suicidal thoughts. 

The constant guilt and nausea that Holden feels, especially around things that trigger his memories, are prominent symptoms of PTSD. After an unpleasant experience with a hooker, Holden felt depressed and miserable. He “started talking, sort of out loud, to Allie” he explains, “I do that sometimes when I get very depressed. I keep telling him to go home and get his bike and meet me in front of Bobby Fallon’s house” (Salinger 59). It was a random flashback; nothing initiated the thought of Allie except Holden himself, he constantly thinks of his late brother. This specific time he is trying to make up for not taking him biking with Bobby, he felt guilty about it and wanted to make it better; an underlying factor of this guilt was the desire to take Allie’s place. To Holden, Allie could do no wrong; he was innocent, smart and sweet, whereas Holden saw himself as the exact opposite. Guilt was not the only emotion Holden experiences while thinking of his past. When Holden runs out of money he calls his English teacher from Elton Hills, a school Holden went to before Pencey, Mr. Antolini, and decides to stay with him until Wednesday. During the first night Holden wakes up feeling, “something on my head, some guy’s hand. Boy, it really scared hell out of me. What it was, it was Mr. Antolini’s hand. What he was doing was, he was sitting on the floor right next to the couch, in the dark and all, and he was sort of petting me or patting me on the goddam head” (Salinger 112). His description reeked of disgust, fear and anger. Holden then goes on to narrate, “Boy, I was shaking like a madman. I was sweating, too. When something perverty like that happens, I start sweating like a bastard. That kind of stuff’s happened to me about twenty times since I was a kid. I can’t stand it” (Salinger 113). Holden felt ill and reveals that others had taken advantage of or made him uncomfortable before, possibly a trusted adult like Antolini, causing the physical symptoms of PTSD.

The isolation Holden puts himself in along with the constant suicidal thoughts satisfies the criteria for depression. After an unfortunate experience with a pimp, Holden cleaned himself up and attempted to sleep but didn’t feel like it.“What [he] really felt like, though, was committing suicide, I felt like jumping out the window” (Salinger 62). A thought of suicide, though he didn’t act on it, was a common occurrence in the book. He constantly wishes to be dead and prefers to be alone, far from family for years, just him in the woods. While planning to run away he daydreams of his life in the woods alone. He said he’d visit when he’s about thirty-five, which was about ten years from then, in case anyone was sick and wanted to see him before they died. He “ knew my mother’d get nervous as hell and start to cry and beg me to stay home and not go back to my cabin, but I’d go anyway...If anybody tried to do anything phony, they couldn’t stay” (Salinger 121). He wanted to be alone, live far away and visit rarely, despite how his family may react. While he claims his door is always open, he says he’ll kick out anyone who does anything phony but he considers everything to be phony, making an excuse for him to isolate himself. 

Mental illness is an obstacle that many people worldwide face, it affects them in various ways. The Mayo Clinic defines mental illness as, “disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behavior” "Mental illness" mayoclinic.org. 08 June 2019 <mayoclinic.org>. They also explain that some causes of mental illnesses are inherited traits, brain chemistry, and environmental stressors. Considering Holden’s harsh past with the loss of his brother and people stealing his innocence by taking advantage of his vulnerability, Holden has traumatic baggage leading to PTSD and depression. J.D. Salinger strategically depicts Holden’s depression and PTSD in his novel Catcher in the Rye.