Essay Sample on Is Polite Speech A Disguise For Authentic Feelings?

Every day, people are left wondering whether or not to believe others' intentions. It makes for an anxiety ridden day, doesn't it? Not all people feel this way, but many people struggle with the grueling task of figuring out things like, “do they really mean it when they say, ‘we should hang out,’ or are they just being polite?” For many people like me, the day to day struggle of figuring out what people really want is exhausting. Every day, more and more people get confused and disappointed by polite speech. But what if polite speech didn't exist?  If polite speech didn't exist, we wouldn't take the time to spread fallacies about how we really feel. Polite speech is a way to speak the exact opposite of what we mean, but doing it respectfully and gracefully. 

What if polite speech is a way to incorporate manners and hide what we really feel from others? 

When we keep our true emotions to ourselves, spewing out fake promises and good times, knowing full well that they will never happen, how do we act about it? How does society behave with it? 

Polite speech is also used in society all the time. When meeting people who are older, you're polite, It's just a social norm to be polite. They are older and are given respect because usually they are wiser. But the problem is, do we really mean what we say? When we say, “We should definitely hang out!” Is that what we really mean, or is it just a phrase coming out of our mouth? 

Good manners and polite speech go hand-in-hand because you can’t have polite speech without manners. It's Important in society to have good manners. Good manners will get many people good places in life. Some examples of this are when you're going out and meeting people. No one wants to go hang out with a person who is rude and nasty. Manners will help to get along with peers by giving off good vibes. If having good vibes makes chances of having friends better, then why wouldn’t people use good manners in everyday conversation? The real question is do they really mean what they say? And if interactions with people need to go positively in any way, whether it be services or just talking to local cashiers, good mannerisms will help. 

But in another way, manners and polite speech crossover. You are unable to practice polite speech if you do not practice good communication etiquette. Imagine that you're speaking to a coworker and they wish to meet up with you sometime for coffee. You groan on the inside after they finish speaking the dreaded words. You really don't want to hang out with them, but you can't say no to their face. Instead you're fishing for what to say in response to their unasked question. You reply with a classic “We should definitely do that sometime after work!” When you didn't want to hang out with them, denying them in your heart, but being polite to their face. They may or may not understand that you were not sincere, but that doesn't matter because you gave them a sense of social accomplishment and false hope. 

In the article “Is Polite Speech Really Worth It?” by Zereen Ahmed, states that “Even after making a good first impression, we continue to be polite because we don’t want to be judged. You’re not a bad person if the words “let’s meet up again” slip out of your mouth when you actually have no intention of engaging with the person any time soon. It’s unfortunately become second nature to us.”Ahmed states that the only reason people are polite is because they don't want other people to criticize them. If that is truly accurate, then isn't everyone in society rude in an indirect way? Since how everyone at some point in their lifetime has used polite speech when they didn't want to or didn't really mean the words that came out of their mouth. Maybe everyone is rude on the inside and polite speech covers up that dark part of humanity. 

Polite speech was created to cover up what the public eyes would frown upon. The definition of politeness is, “...behaving in a socially acceptable way with proper manners and etiquette.” (Ben Davis) 

When people act polite, it's difficult to determine if they meant they wanted to meet up or just being polite. Many people say words that they don't mean, like “we should hang out sometime!” Sometimes they say that even though they never mean to hang out. That really is quite rude on their part, it may appear polite and elegant, but in time others deem it impolite. Which begs the question: Is polite speech actually polite? Or is it how others view the speaker's words that make it polite? Everyday more and more people are confused as to what their peers are really thinking about them. 

Although polite speech is complicated and excruciatingly difficult to understand for some, polite speech is necessary in people's lives. “It is a wise thing to be polite; consequently, it is a stupid thing to be rude. To make enemies by unnecessary and willful incivility, is just as insane a proceeding as to set your house on fire. For politeness is like a counter--an avowedly false coin, with which it is foolish to be stingy.” (Schopenhauer, The Wisdom of Life and Counsels and Maxims) Arthur states that it is incredibly important in society to be able to have polite conversations. Even if the aspect of talking with someone else is straining. Many people find the time that they converse to be long and hardy. Without end and strenuating. Maybe even a little hurtful. Manners and polite speech is a necessity because it's socially pleasing and outwardly communicates respect to other people, even if it's fabricated. 

“Arthur Schopenhauer (Author of the World as Will and Representation, Vol. 1).” Goodreads, Goodreads, www.goodreads.com/author/show/11682.Arthur_Schopenhauer. 

Davis, Ben. “Home.” Mvorganizing.org, 14 May 2021, www.mvorganizing.org/why-is-polite-speech-important/. 

“Politeness Quotes (174 Quotes).” Goodreads, Goodreads, www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/politeness.