Essay Sample on Planning for Future Children

As unsure as I am about almost every aspect of my life, the one thing that I know for sure is that I am meant to be a mom. I have wanted to have children of my own for as long as I can remember, and after learning more about child development I feel like I am more prepared to be a better parent. Having children is more than giving birth and watching them grow up. Parents should create a plan determining how they want to give birth, how they want to support their child’s development, what type of education they want for their children, and how they want to raise their child.

Before having a child, there are many things that I would like to do to prepare myself to be a parent. First, I want to be in a loving marriage that healthily communicates with one another. Communication is key in all relationships and I want my relationship to be a guide for my children. I want them to know that they need to discuss their issues with one another, listen to one another, and never go to sleep angry at one another. I would also like to have a stable job and a steady income so that I can provide them with the things that they may need rather it be extracurricular activities or health issues. Most of all, I want to be emotionally and mentally prepared for having a child. 

Every parent should prepare a birth plan but they should also be prepared for any issues that may interfere with the original plan. In the future, I want to have a traditional hospital birth. However, I would prefer to stand or squat to give birth rather than lie down on the hospital bed. The idea of laying down was developed in the 1700s when a King wanted to watch his mistress give birth. Once the public found out that this was how the royals gave birth, it became the social norm. It is easier on both the infant and the mother to give birth standing up because gravity does a lot of the work which is why I would like to try this method instead. I would also like to have a fairly large family so I could also see myself fostering or adopting one or two children. Many people are concerned with fostering because they fear having to let them go, but I once spoke to a pair of foster parents about that concern and they said that knowing you created some joy in the child’s life and showed them that the world is not always cruel is worth the pain of saying goodbye to them. If I can make a difference in any child’s life for even a short amount of time, then I want to do so. 

When discussing raising a child, many people overlook one crucial aspect of parenting which is how to support their development. During EDEC 321, we learned that there are 6 areas of development otherwise known as PILESS. These 6 areas are Physical, Intellectual, Language, Emotional, Social, and Spiritual. To help support their physical development, we must further split the category into two: gross and fine motor. To help gross motor, the only thing that I would like to do is to model the movements. Albert Bandura, the founder of the Social Learning Theory, stated that children learn by watching and imitating other people, especially people whom they believe hold status. This supports my idea to model for my children and allow them to begin to walk, crawl, or scoot at their own pace. However, I would also like to spend some quality time teaching the child by holding the majority of the weight and allowing them to practice the movements. We learned in class that all children are born with an innate sense of how to crawl and walk but they do not have the strength to hold their weight. If these skills go unpracticed, the child can slowly forget the movements. Therefore, by having someone support the weight and letting them practice the motion then there might be a chance that the movements will not have to be relearned.

Next, I believe that reading to the child both in utero and after birth will help the child to develop their cognitive skills. It introduces them to a variety of words while also allowing parents to spend time with their children in a more relaxed manner. This may become difficult with more children, but I believe that it is important for all children to be introduced to a diverse vocabulary. One thing that I would also like to do which other parents may not agree with is that I do not want to use baby talk with my children. I know that at moments I will most likely use the singsong tune to catch their attention, but I believe that if a parent is consistently using baby talk or using gibberish when speaking to the child it can hinder their language and cognitive development. 

How you speak to your child is important. To help their language development, I want to consistently describe things that they are paying attention to and ask questions. This can be done with simple things such as, “Look it’s a puppy. What color is the puppy? What noise does a puppy make?” This allows the child to be exposed to new vocabulary while also strengthening their cognitive skills. Another thing that I learned from EDEC 321 is that walking can help language development because parents tend to change their quality of language. It is important to understand this as a parent because it can be scary if a child is walking with a limited vocabulary. Many parents will think that their child is “falling behind.” Understanding that children develop differently and may need to develop one skill at a time will help reduce the fear of new parents.

Language development is also crucial for social and emotional development. Children are going to be frustrated and may throw temper tantrums. It is important to talk about these frustrations and teach children how to properly handle their stress. During class, we watched a video where a young girl was pouring bathwater out of the tub and was disciplined by being taken out of the tub. The little girl was crying and instead of raising her voice, the mother calmed the girl down. Once she was settled, the mom talked to her about the rule and why she was taken out of the bath. This is a perfect example of how I want to discipline my children. I believe that this will teach them how to communicate with others while also understanding that it is okay to talk about their feelings and emotions. As an adult, I struggle with bottling my emotions and not asking for help. I want my kids to know to not have those struggles and know that you are not weak for expressing your emotions but instead stronger than I. 

Finally, the last area of development is spiritual which is also known as moral. This area focuses on developing an awareness of how to relate to others and develop their moral code. I grew up with Christian values and I plan to raise my children in the same way. I want them to know that everybody is equal regardless of class or race and to treat everyone the same. I live by a code that I treat everyone with respect because you do not know when someone is having a hard time. I believe that by modeling for my children, they will inherit those values. However, I also want to encourage them to continuously evolve and know that they have my support even if I disagree. I want them to listen to others and hear their opinions and then determine if those values line up with their own more than the ones that I have portrayed for them. 

Regarding education, I would prefer if my child went to a preschool. I would like to find a Montessori, Reggio Emilia, or Waldorf school and send them to that school until they are 6-8 years old. These schools are nontraditional and focus on teaching children with hands-on activities. They believe in developing the child as a whole instead of just academically. I believe these schools would help prepare them for everyday activities. When they reach 6-8 years old, then I want to try and send them to a traditional school and get them involved in extracurricular activities like sports, music, or dance. I am still debating whether to send my children to a public or private school. It would depend on the area in which I live and how my spouse feels about the matter. Regardless, I want my children to learn how to think and study rather than memorize material. In regards to higher education, I have a different point of view than some others. I do not believe that everybody should go to college. If my children would prefer to go to a trade school, then I will support them. I want them to be successful of course, but I would rather them be happy than stuck in a job that they despise. 

Another important aspect of parenting is parenting styles. There are four main types that we discussed in class. They are Permissive, Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Uninvolved. I believe that Authoritative is the best option. Permissive children tend to not be able to control their impulses and are immature. These children are what most people describe as spoiled. Authoritarian children tend to look for approval from authority and are extremely vulnerable to stress. Uninvolved children have low self-esteem and may come off as needy in other relationships. Finally, Authoritative children are the most well-adjusted and are socially competent. The outcomes of these parenting styles are why I want to pursue an authoritative parenting style. This reflects on my idea to discuss issues that the children may be having with them. Overall, I believe that if I can execute these plans that my children will be well adapted and prepared for the future while also strengthening the relationship between them and myself.