Good Me, Bad Me by Ali Land Book Analysis

How far would you go to survive? Would you kill those around you, kill those you love? Good Me, Bad Me is a novel that pushes the boundaries of psychological survival. The novel leaves you with one question, is Milly a bad person like her mom, or is she good?  Milly’s bad attitude and anxiety induced responses often point out her flaws. However, most of these responses can be linked back to the trauma of seeing her mother kill nine children in cold blood. Therefore, Milly is a good person who battles with the after effects of her mothers treatment towards her. 

Since Milly is abused and traumatized, she knows a lot about how to hurt people, yet she still uses her knowledge to help others. When Georgie fell and broke her arm, Milly jumped into action and helps cradle Georgies elbow and warns the other girls they can’t move her because, “She’s in too much pain, you can’t move her.” (pg. 94) Another example is when Clodine is drugged by Toby at the party. While Clodine is telling Toby no, Toby starts to force himself on her in an attempt to sexually assault her. Milly watches the whole thing go down, so she flicks the lights on and off to provide a distraction and convinces Toby to leave. Milly could have done nothing, or even helped hurt the other just as her mother did to her. She couldn’t help the children that her mother murdered, so she redeems herself by helping those she can.

While turning her mother in is a great strive to a new life, Milly often enjoys tormenting those around her. When Sasika, her foster mom, gives her a ride to school, Milly asks Sasika, “you love yoga, don’t you?” (pg. 61) and follows it up with, “And your teacher, you really like him.” (pg. 61) Milly saying these things makes Sasika uncomfortable and creates panic since she's cheating with her yoga instructor. After making her sweat a bit, Milly admits to the reader that she enjoyed the car ride. But those feelings are immediately flooded by guilt, showing the reader she feels sympathy for those she belittles. Her actions are persuad by her mothers voice in her head, but her emotions are influenced by the ghosts of the children she witnesses her mom murder. 

Although Milly killed Daniel, she is still a good person. Although we never see the death of little Daniel, during her mothers trial Milly reveals she is responsible for his death.. The only reason Milly killed Daniel was if she didn’t, her mother would have assaulted and tortured him before she ultimately killed him. Daniel was destined to die, and she ended his pain and suffering sooner. “I never told you mummy, that I did it to save him.” (pg. 226) This dialogue comes to Milly in a dream and shows that Milly still struggles with Daniel's death, unlike her mother who killed them all without guilt. This proves that even though they did the same thing, Milly and her mother had different motives and are not the same person. 

In the end, Milly kills Phoebe because of the survival instincts her mother implemented in her. Phoebe was getting in the way of the future Milly wanted, and Milly knows there isn’t enough room in the Newmount household for both her and Phoebe, and Milly will be shown the door. By killing Phoebe, Milly is simply doing what she has to do to survive. The final words in the book are, “Forgive me” (pg. 289) and they arrive during a dream about Phoebe. These words show she felt guilty for Phoebe's death, unlike her mother. But if her mother hadn’t implanted those survival instincts within Milly, Phoebe would not be dead. Phoebe's death is just another after effect of Milly’s mothers torment. 

In the end, Milly’s bad side might be displayed as more sinister, and maybe even prominent with Phoebe's death. But her subconscious dream shows she is still a good person and she feels guilt. While her actions might not be reasonable for an average person, Milly has been through just enough to make her action justifiable and correct. Her actions, while not always good, are always necessary due to the survival instincts her mom planted inside her. Milly is simply a byproduct, one her mother hadn’t planned on producing, a good person.