I Start Over by Donald Ray Pollock Literary Analysis Essay Example

Many short stories can provide introductory fiction writers some insight on how to effectively communicate overarching themes and plot in a relatively short space. It can also teach us the various types of literary devices and techniques authors use and expose writers to these techniques, which they can then implement in their works. In the story, I Start Over, Donald Ray Pollock introduces the protagonist, Big Bernie Givens, who was recently fired from his job. On the surface level, the story seems to be about Bernie taking a trip to a Dairy Queen with his wife Jill and their intellectually disabled son Jerry. From there, the family encounters a group of rowdy boys who mimic Jerry and taunt Bernie. Bernie, feeling the need to stand up for his son, gets into a fight with the rowdy boys and the family flees from the Dairy Queen, where they head onto a highway to start anew. Digging deeper, the story seems to be about the pressures of Bernie’s choices in the situation that he is in. Specifically, it shows the pressure of choosing between caretaking his intellectually disabled son versus his freedom. It also shows the pressure of “starting over” even though that’s not necessarily possible. Pollock successfully incorporates imagery and symbolism to captivate readers into empathizing with our main character because of the frustrations that Bernie feels with the choices he makes for his family over himself.

Pollock uses imagery to describe Bernie’s love and frustration towards his family. Probably the most significant example of this is his attitude towards his son, Jerry. When Bernie punches one of the boys, Bernie confesses that “[he’s] never hit anyone that hard in [his] life,” which shows that Bernie has never fought someone until now, when he stands up for Jerry (Pollock 169). The fight shows Bernie’s love towards his son, and Bernie’s internalized pressure from society to stand up for his family. After the fight, Bernie views Jerry’s eyes as puppy eyes (Pollock 170). The image of puppy dog eyes seems to suggest that Bernie sees his son as innocent, childlike, and undeserving of the harassment from the rowdy boys. Along with the same idea, the image of “angel dust glaze in his eyes,” correlates Jerry’s intellectual disability as a look of innocence, which Bernie wants to protect (Pollock 170). However, that same line has a negative connotation, as “angel dust glaze” can refer to a spaced-out daze created from the drug, phencyclidine (PCP). In that context, it depicts Bernie’s frustration because even after the fight, Jerry looks spaced out and indifferent, which makes it feel like the fight wasn’t appreciated. Bernie also expresses frustration by wishing that he could “prop [Jerry] out on the curb like a broken appliance for the junk man to haul away” (Pollock 165). This shows that Bernie views his son as a “broken appliance,” and his internal struggle of wanting to take care of his son and discard Jerry. Similarly, Bernie refuses to take his son to the car show, saying that, “there’s no way I’m hauling Jerry to a car show, even in handcuffs,” further supporting the idea that Bernie thinks of his son as a nuisance. By using the word “hauling” it shows Bernie’s frustration with taking care of his son, over the things that Bernie wants to do (Pollock 166). By juxtaposing the imagery of puppy dog eyes, angel dust, and a broken appliance, Bernie shows the dynamic of loving and being frustrated with his son, as he struggles with choosing to care for his family over his self-interest. This makes us want to empathize with Bernie because of this choice, leading the readers to believe that the idea of “starting over” is not necessarily possible for Bernie, given the situation that he’s in.

Another example of this is the imagery of fire to show Bernie’s desire to kill himself along with his family. Bernie “fantasiz[es] [himself] as a brave orange fireball” which is the “only thing that makes [him] go hard anymore” (Pollock 163). At first glance, the description shows that Bernie daydreams about burning his home down, along with his wife and son inside, because that gives his life purpose. Here, the image of fire represents destruction because Bernie wants to end his life. It could also be interpreted as Bernie’s desire to get rid of his “fucked-up family” or the pressure that his family gives him (Pollock 163). However, he doesn’t end up doing that, even though he can’t help feeling the way he feels (Pollock 163). This shows that even though Bernie wants to get rid of the pressures from his family, it’s not necessarily possible for him. As a result, readers empathize with Bernie because even though he wants to “start over,” he puts the needs of his family over himself.  

Pollock also uses the overarching symbolism of the commercial, which represents starting over, as a reason for Bernie’s behavior. In this story, the commercial is something that everyone has seen in their lifetime and conveys the message that “it’s never too late to start over” (Pollock 160). The commercial is personified, in that it “sucks [us] in” and “preys on [our] regrets,” leading readers to believe that part of starting over is associated with wants and desires (Pollock 161). For Bernie, it represents his desire to “start over.” In one scene, Bernie encounters an underaged girl and calls it “a commercial come true,” which associates looking at underaged girls with the commercial. By doing so, it seems that Bernie wants to succumb to the pressure of starting over by being with these girls. Likewise, in another scene, Bernie also associates the drive-thru worker with the commercial, describing her as “the type of girl that ends up in one of those damn commercials, tormenting the shit out of every old geezer with cable” (Pollock 166). Here, Bernie expresses his desire towards the girl, which symbolizes his desire to “start over.” When the boys imitate Jerry after noticing Bernie staring at the drive-thru girl, Bernie fights them, showing the readers that, even though Bernie wants to “start over,” he chooses to take care of his son, over himself.

Evoking empathy is a common theme in many stories. However, Pollock uses the imagery of “puppy dog eyes,” “angel dust,” and “a broken appliance” to show the frustrations Bernie feels towards Jerry. The dynamic of love and frustration towards Jerry conveys Bernie’s struggle of choosing his family’s needs over himself. The imagery of fire shows Bernie’s desire to end his family’s life and his responsibilities towards his family, even though Bernie doesn’t end up burning his family to ashes. Pollock also uses the symbolism of the commercial to show us how the pressures of wanting to start over and taking care of his family drive our main character. Despite Bernie’s desire to “start over,” we see that it’s not possible for Bernie, since he needs to take care of his intellectually disabled son. This, in turn, makes readers want to empathize with Bernie because we can see the dichotomy of love and frustration for his family because of the choices he makes.