Narrative Essay about My Father

Although we are all guilty of neglect, procrastination, and solely lacking interest in an idea, often, this can come back to bite you. In my case, I let my dad down. He hadn't been a huge part of my life, and I didn’t want to let him in, but after life changing experiences, and finding myself, I in turn found my Dad.

My parents went through a nasty divorce when I was two years old. My mom has had full custody of me since, and I never got to know my Dad like most little girls did. Our relationship was contradicting, I was pulled in every which way by family members to not give him that bond I knew I had wanted. I had to become my own person, and he had to become a better man. We may have missed out on always having that “daddy, daughter” love, but the growth we have made is exponential. My dad was never meant to be a father. He was absent a lot when I was an infant, he didn't stick around, and he was always off doing something else for himself. I have always been sheltered from the harsh truth of where he was when I was a baby. To this day I still do not and will never know the pain he has inflicted on my mother and my family by being so absent in my sister and my lives starting from such a young age. This led to why I carried so much neglect towards him as I became a teenager and more in charge of the choices I made. I got to choose who I wanted to be and the people I wanted to surround myself with, and because my Dad had hurt my family to such a terrible extent I didn't want to reach out to him and make the effort to have a healthy relationship. Instead, I was just a freshly teenage girl, a mommys girl, enjoying her youth and being a kid, without a healthy relationship with my Dad. It was easier. Declining my calls from him when I was hanging out with my friends was easier. Leaving his texts on read and never giving him the time of day was easier. Living my life giving him the cold shoulder was just always easier.

In 2017, my bond with my cousin, Kasey, became stronger than I had ever imagined. We became inseparable best friends. Kasey is my dad's sister's daughter. Due to the person my Dad was portrayed to be growing up, I didn't have a close relationship with any family member on my dad's side of the family, but once Kasey and I came together, my world shifted. My time became consumed with being with Kasey, and being two kids growing up, living life. I was always somehow with her, whether it was holidays, week long river trips, countless Facetime calls, or just random sleepovers. Inevitably, this impacted my relationship with not only my dad, but my dad's side of the family. My aunt, Kelli,  became like a second mom to me, and uncles, aunts, and cousins I had never really talked to or connected with before besides a few hours during Christmas became so much more close to me. The Chapman blood in me had finally felt genuine. I was a Chapman, doing whatever it took for my family, and treating each day as a gift. My Dad and I began to connect more. Although I still was not living with him, he would call, I would answer, and we would talk for hours going over weekend river plans, what days I would be there, who would be going, if I had everything I needed packed, and it became him simply checking in on his daughter. Because I was going with my dad's side, I think he felt more obligated to make sure I was all set to go. Time and time again, he started to give me the weekly checkup calls, I would give him the details, and go about my trip. We made growth in communication, but we still lacked an emotional connection. My relationship with him stayed like this until October 2021when my father began to have tingling and chilly sensations in his left foot. Due to what we thought was an infection, his left big toenail was removed after repeated visits to the doctor. However, he was still not feeling better and the toe was not mending after several weeks. He underwent a CT scan, which revealed that he had a blockage right below his knee. After an unsuccessful angioplasty, he was warned he could have Buerger's disease or another type of artery disease and that nothing short of amputation would cure him. He had reached a drastic turning point in his life, nothing would be the same anymore, and from that day his life was completely transformed. Through this, I had become so much closer with my Dad. For the first time, I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to give him the support and courage he had needed. My dad became transparent. He let down his walls and shared such a vulnerable part of him with me. He could no longer give the vague “Hi, how are you? Have a good week” he had been giving. Maybe a tough and emotional curveball is just what we needed. Now, my Dad and I have prospered our relationship immensely. 

Neglects a funny thing. We don't realize we're doing it until the ones who stuck it out time and time again, are forced to let us go. I however got lucky, and my dad never stopped reaching out to me. I may have been slow to open up and break down my boundaries, but I faced my fears, stopped pushing him away and neglecting him and in turn my dad won me over through his vulnerability. Because of what my Dad had come through, I developed myself, I discovered the immense amount of pain I had felt for my Dad, and the desire and drive I had to hold his hand through it all. We both came together and grew, and we found ourselves and one another. Looking forward, my dad finally feels like my dad, and I'll forever be grateful for all that we have gone through and how we have bloomed.