Narrative Essay about My Food Journey

Weighing in at ten pounds and ten percent of my mother’s weight, I entered the world huge by Korean standards, and I would remain huge well into middle school. Whenever my very fit uncle or thin classmates ridiculed my size, Grandma Lee would offer these reassuring words, “It all turns into height.”

With that reassurance, I began to create recipes to satisfy my huge appetite. Under the tutelage of my grandmother,  I excelled at pork belly and barbeque short ribs. Although my homemade pizza dough-baked into a perfect crust with tasty toppings- won me great praise at dinner, any pride I felt was short-lived by the time I got to class.

On arriving in America and watching pre-teen boy-girl interactions throughout the school day, my testosterone levels got me thinking that a slimmed-down physique might give me an edge in the game of flirtation. After large helpings of basketball, football, baseball, and swimming, I was burning more calories and losing weight despite a less than healthy diet at home. The self-confidence I gained definitely led to some successful flirting, and also to an interest in my actual health.

By high school, I added weightlifting to build strength, burn more fat, and develop better muscle tone. I started studying food labels and eliminating all junk from my diet.  At that point, I got a date for prom with an athlete herself who admired my discipline and liked my appearance as well. This marked the first time that I actually “qualified” for a date since Korean girls back home only found “pretty boys” attractive-an aesthetic type I could never achieve short of starvation and plastic surgery.

Biology and Chemistry classes in high school only whetted my appetite for more knowledge. During summer classes at Johns Hopkins and Emory University this year, I learned about the genetic link to obesity. It seems that all people possess a genetic circuit that controls whether we burn or store fat. I also explored the genetics of the “hunger hormone” ghrelin, which I found personally insightful. Through additional reading, I  further discovered that gene therapy is being used to reduce body weight, and that gene editing may eventually cure obesity. It was also exciting to read about Korean researchers using CRISPRi and a nonviral gene delivery system to treat obesity and type 2 diabetes.

Through these studies, I now understand that dieting and exercise may not be enough for me and many others. Obesity is a complex disease; genetics does not explain everything. Environment and behavior also play a role in this disease. I’ve recently learned that I have a genetic variant in muscle composition which is common to elite power athletes. This may partially explain my success in weightlifting, but a determined attitude and extreme effort play a big role in my achievement in and out of the gym.

 Looking back at my childhood,  no one ever asked why I ate so much or why I always seemed so hungry. To their credit, they probably didn’t want to hurt my feelings or make me even more self-conscious. Some probably thought I was just lazy or that I had an eating disorder. 

Only my tiny mother and kind grandma have witnessed the food journey of a huge and hungry baby, to a fat pre-teen, to the tall, muscular teenager standing before them who can deadlift 425 pounds as of October 2021. It turns out Grandma Lee was right about the height.  But even they will never feel the silent shame, the stigma of obesity, and the pain of rejection in my younger years.