Narrative Essay Sample: Psychotherapy Session

📌Category: Communication, Family, Interpersonal relationship, Sociology
📌Words: 796
📌Pages: 3
📌Published: 01 February 2022

In our initial sessions, it was apparent that most of the couple’s conflicts arose from the fact that the woman, Miranda, seems to want to go on a vacation because she and her husband, Jeff, have only taken one in eighteen years. Miranda is unsure of where this vacation will take place, but she is sure she wants to take one. She blames their lack of vacations on Jeff’s unwillingness to spend money on airfare, tendency to be impatient, and how his idea of a vacation is different from Mirandas. Jeff believes engaging in woodwork or farmwork is relaxing, while Miranda does not approve of this definition of a vacation because she believes Jeff is a work-a-holic. Furthermore, Jeff has an aversion to large crowds, so a vacation such as Disney World or a cruise might not be the best idea for him. On the other hand, Jeff was very passive in these sessions and sarcastically took the blame for everything. The one thing he did state was that he does not want to go on these vacations because of his wife’s fear of flying. Everytime Jeff mentions this phobia, Miranda turns the subject back onto the fact that Jeff does not like waiting or paying for the plane. Both of their assessments of each other's reasons for not going on vacation seem accurate and both parties are ignoring their own part in the disagreement. 

By the end of the session it appeared we were making progress as Miranda and Jeff stated they would both be willing to travel to a fishing spot in Canada. This at least shows there is a possibility for them to be able to compromise. This vacation benefits Miranda as she would be going on vacation somewhere she has never been while Jeff does not have to be around an abundance of people and can do activities that mimic work. However, our sessions ended with Jeff wanting their vacation to be on a work retreat and with Miranda wanting to go to Germany or England. This couple has the capability to compromise on a vacation where they would both have fun, but it seems like there is something more preventing this compromise. 

In order to gain a deeper understanding of the core causes of this couple’s marital dysfunction I needed to ask them specific questions pertaining to their relationships in childhood to determine if there are any parallel patterns that are present in this relationship. During sessions, I learned that Miranda's grandmother was a flight attendant who traveled all over the world. When Miranda’s mother was eighteen, her grandmother was involved in a fatal plane crash preventing her from ever meeting her grandmother. Jeff grew up in a very “all american nuclear family” where his father valued traditions, timeliness, and masculinity over vulnerability and friendliness. His father was fairly callous to Jeff and would get mad at him for making him wait. For example, Jeff loved going to see the mall santa when he was a child but his father would reprimand him for making him go because the lines were so long. 

Jeff is clearly still intimidated by waiting in lines and fully expressing emotions because of his father’s negative reactions to these behaviors. Jeff is following the patterns that his father displayed during his childhood. When Miranda reprimands Jeff for being impatient, it could be subconsciously triggering for Jeff because it correlates him with his father. Furthermore, Jeff may have a hard time in public spaces because his father was very private. To me, it seems as if Jeff is unaware he is repeating the actions of his father, which is why he becomes so defensive when she brings up his impacidence or avoidance of crowds. 

While Miranda feels disconnected from the grandmother she never had and wants to explore the world to feel close to her grandmother, she is also worried that the same thing that happened to her grandmother will happen to her. I believe that Miranda acknowledges the trauma of never meeting her grandmother more than she acknowledges her fear of flying, suggesting why she puts the blame on her husband during this disagreement. 

I believe engaging in affective reconstruction, is the most effective way to improve Miranda and Jeff’s biases held against each other. I will take an unbiased approach when bringing light to the patterns I noticed and the process will take about one to two years to complete. Through this reconstruction, both participants will need to be vulnerable during these sessions as early childhood can be very traumatic if not processed correctly. When people are aware of why someone is the way they are, they are usually more receptive to working on the issue instead of blaming the partner for the behavior. l A lot of the therapy I will be engaging in will aim to remove the blame either partner has on eachother and replace it with awareness and knowledge. Hopefully, the pair will be more aware of their partner’s individual fears and expectations. I believe that by using this technique, Jeff and Miranda will gain a deeper understanding of each other subsequently making it easier to communicate and compromise.

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