Personal Narrative Essay : The Divorce of Parents

My parents started dating when they attended middle school. My father was my mom’s first boyfriend. On their first date, my dad picked up my mom. Then, on the way to the date, he picked up a raccoon on the side of the road. The raccoon was dead, but the meat and the fur were worth money during that time. He was so poor that anything would benefit him in a minor way. My mom was slightly disgusted, but she understood since she was that poor as well. She loved him with everything she had. My mom and dad got married once my mom turned eighteen. They made a very successful life together, opening a bar together, while my mom went to school to be a travel agent. I was born after all these events happened. When I was born, my mom was 36, and my dad was 38. My parents were high school sweethearts until my dad served my mom divorce papers.

The divorce turned my whole life upside down. My parents would argue a lot before they separated and I would put them in time out when they argued. In my five-year-old eyes, time out would solve any issues. I loved my life with my parents, certainly with them being together. I remember the arguing did get more intense as time went on with them being in the same house. The arguments started before I knew anything about the separation. They would still do things with me despite the arguing they had. On weekdays, my dad would pick me up from school, and we would meet my mom to eat after she got out of work. When we went to eat, it would feel like we were a happy family. I was still young when they separated, but I remember feeling and sensing the tension in the room between the two of them. Thinking back, my parents made questionable decisions that I disagreed with and did not understand. Truly, things my father did and allowed others to do to my mom made me question my mom. I was concerned about why my mom stayed with him. I also wondered why they even tried fixing things.  Now, I understand that they both wanted to have a normal life with both parents. 

When they split up, I did not fully understand what was happening. I did ask my father how they told me they were not living together. He told me, That my mom and him were not living in the same house. I believe I understood that they were not living together because of the atmosphere and tension. What I did not understand was that they would see other people. Finding out that my parents were finding other people affected me so much in such a negative way.  The things that I witnessed with my parent’s divorce are internally embedded in my head. I have seen my mom crying a great amount because of my dad's actions. I also witnessed my parents' arguments a lot while they were together and after they were divorced. Seeing how much hurt my mom had coped with because she did not expect my dad to give her divorce papers has hurt me. My mom said they were going out to eat, and she thought that he surprised her with a gift. Then it was divorce papers.  From my point of view, it is wrong to do that in a public place like a restaurant. 

My dad bought a condo on Pine Lake to live in temporarily during the separation. My mom continued to live in the house we all lived in together until she found a new home. I loved living in that house, and soon, I would miss the place a lot.  My mom ended up buying the condo my dad and I lived in after he moved out. That time was difficult for all of us. I had to see my mom crying on the bathroom floor because of the emotion she was going through, but my father would not show emotions like that. He would show his feelings by buying unnecessary things. At this time, the separation was very messy. My dad would portray he wanted to fix his family, but he would also spend time with his new girlfriend.  

My parent’s separation has caused a lot of internal damage to me. I have been through so much counseling to help cope with the difficulties of the divorce. The hurt I have now have reflected on the separation. I have had behavior issues were created in school and my home life caused by the divorce. The behavior issues were more elementary than anything. I had many significant internal problems with my parents, especially my father. My father was the one who told my mom he wanted to separate. The resentment I encountered was taken out towards my dad the most. In my eyes, he was the one to tear our family apart. His decision to separate hurt me because why would he want to leave our family? We were a happy family. I was a happy child, and I believe my childhood would have been a lot different. I did have some behavior issues with my parent’s new partners. I would try to do anything and everything to make them leave because I thought if I were mean, they would go. I encountered a lot of pain from my parents getting with other people as well. 

The things I had to do to make myself happier were extensive. I stopped fantasizing about my parents ever getting back together. My thoughts and hope they would come back together hurt me so much because I would just be upset when I came back to reality they would not come back together. When my dad and mom met new people, that's when I was hurt the most. A few years later, I had to remove myself from the toxic environment of my father and his relationship with his girlfriend. When the issues were to the extent of too much pain that was interoperable, I needed just to remove myself. She created so many problems for me. The heartbreak and betrayal I felt with my dad because of her were tremendous. Subquensially feeling like your dad chose a stranger over his daughter, I thought I lost my father. The truth was I did lose my dad. I was not his little girl. Learning that I was not his everything destroyed me. I thought he would try hard to involve me in life. I still think he will, and I get disappointed a lot. I have been taught that I should stop expecting much from him. I was not the most excellent person to her, but she made me look bad to my dad. She would say mean things about me to others and make me look like such a bad child. I was not a bad child; I had neem hurt. My dad siding with his girlfriend is why I stopped going to my dad’s like I used to. I never understood why she would want to come around my dad and me when I did not like her. I thought of her as this evil ball of fire. She was toxic and controlled him so much. She hurt me so much there were so many issues.

She took my dad from me; Iabout felt when I was younger. When my mom found her first boyfriend, it upset me that she would spend less time with me. He did not understand me either. He would not have the patience for me. I would try to get rid of him as well. My dad’s girlfriend was her first boyfriend. I had to stop trying to get rid of my parents' new partners because that was not changing them separated. As I grew older, I saw how much the divorce hurt me. I truly understood how emotionally damaged I was from that. Thoughts that have gone through my head thinking that the divorce was my fault in the past years began to destroy me.  I know it was not my fault now. I would stay up trying to pray to god. My parents would one day realize they were meant to be.