Persuasive Essay Sample: Social Media is Harmful to Relationships

Social media has become second nature to most people in today's society. It is seen as a way to connect with people all around the world through platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat or Facebook, however it is taking time away from our in person connections. Social media is harmful to relationships, causing jealousy, trust issues, and lack of personal connections. 

Jealousy is an easily acquired emotion, especially when all you see are the positive times and best photos from someone's life. In relationships it is easy for couples to struggle with jealousy through social media for a few different reasons, perhaps through going through your partner's phone and finding their messages or even going through their followers to see who they follow, which are small gestures that can be taken out of context. According to Beltway News, there are 3 different types of jealousy: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. Cognitive jealousy is a form of jealousy that relates to a person's thoughts; “It addresses worries or concerns regarding their partner's infidelity” (Donelson 17). It is reported that about 27% of teen social media users who took part in a survey chose that social media makes them “feel jealous and unsure about their relationship” (Lenhart 5). These statistics are not surprising considering that many relationships involve a lot of communication through social media. Many times couples will post pictures together or comment back and forth on each other's posts. When you notice your partner interacting with other accounts, especially of the opposite gender, in a similar manner it can be extremely misleading and discouraging and can lead to trust issues in the relationship. 

Trust issues in relationships can often be traced back to social media as well. In today's society it is not uncommon for a partner to want to go through their significant other's phone to read their texts or see who they follow on their social media accounts, “An estimated 31% of people surveyed in a USENIX study admit to snooping on someones private messages” (Donelson 23). Actions such as these can be related to uncertainty within their own relationships. Among the apps such as Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook, there are also apps designed specifically for dating and relationships. These are apps such as Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. Within these apps, people are able to create a personal profile to share with others who might find them compatible, the issue with this is created when people decide to lie or “catfish” someone else. Catfishing is when someone pretends to be someone who they are not, or leads someone to believe they are more compatible than they actually are; “With technology people have the ability to portray a false perception of themselves online” (Donelson 27).  This can lead to trust issues with forming relationships and not being able to trust their partner due to past relationship issues. 

Social media is meant to bring people together and connect them through different platforms however, it seems to be causing a disconnect between partners. In relationships, communication is essential to keeping things in check and being able to communicate your wants and needs with your partner. With Social media however people are so captivated by screens that we spend more time looking at our phones than we do spending quality time with our partners. This could even mean scrolling through Twitter or Instagram while at dinner, or while sitting in the car, situations where you could be building that personal connection with your partner. Beltway News says, “Married couples in committed relationships have experienced their significant other spending more time with their phone than spending quality time together” (Donelson 12). Personal connections are essential in relationships, without them chances are the relationship will not last for very long, or will be very superficial. It is reported that “people who do not feel connected to their partner are more likely to seek external validation” (Hughes 4). The external validation could be gathered through attention on social media, or even worse through other personal connections on social media. 

As mentioned before, social media is meant as a way to connect people and while it seems to be causing a disconnect between couples, there still are ways that it is beneficial to relationships. The internet allows for people to connect faster, and while stalking people's pages can lead down a dangerous rabbit hole, it can also help get to know about the person before personally getting to know them. Profiles allow for others to see what kind of activities, places, and friends the person is involved with, which can be very telling of someone's personality. It can be very beneficial to couples in long distance relationships, allowing them to use social media as a way to cope with not being able to see them in person. Similar to how even just a like or comment on someone else's page could set off some overthinkers, some sources say that social media can make them feel more secure in their relationship through the way their partners promote their relationships online, “Noticing your partner change their relationship status on Facebook or post a status update about the amazing time you had together can be affirming” (Pandika 6). It can also create more ways to communicate with your partner. There are so many different platforms created for sharing with others that it’s possible to be having 2 or 3 different conversations with the same person just throughout different platforms, “Having that playfulness and flirtation can really help a relationship last” (Pandika 12). This is definitely a more popular approach to teen/young adult relationships, as 45% of teens in a survey of 317 teens, put on by Pew Research Center, reported that social media makes them feel more connected to their significant other. 

While all of those options are great and could help to support relationships, it is important for people to be cognizant of the amount of time they are spending on their phones in the digital world and focus more on the time being spent in the face to face world. It is shown that “the more time one spends on social media the less time they are devoting to relationship maintenance - and therefore the more likely it is that the relationship will terminate” (Hughes 12). All things considered, social media is not something that people are likely to give up completely, however, it is likely that if we spent less time on social media, there would be one less reason for jealousy and trust issues and more opportunity to grow your personal connection with your partner. 

Works Cited 

Arikewuyo, Abdulgaffar Olawale, et al. “An Examination of How Multiple Use of Social Media Platforms Influence Romantic Relationships.” Journal of Public Affairs (14723891), vol. 21, no. 3, Aug. 2021, pp. 1–12. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1002/pa.2240.

Donelson, L. “How Social Media Can Ruin Relationships.” Beltway News, 28 November 2017, https://beltwaynews.org/2017/11/28/how-social-media-can-ruin-relationships/. Accessed 28 September 2021.

Hughes, Shelby, et al. “#Couplegoals: Self-Esteem, Relationship Outcomes, and the Visibility of Romantic Relationships on Social Media.” Sexuality & Culture, vol. 25, no. 3, June 2021, pp. 1041–1057. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s12119-020-09808-3.

Lenhart, Anderson A. “Social media and Teen romantic relationships.” Pew Research, Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech., 31 December 2019, https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2015/10/01/social-media-and-romantic-relationships/. Accessed 28 September 2021.

Pandika, Melissa. “Can Social Media Benefit Relationships.” MIC, 4 December 2019, https://www.mic.com/p/can-social-media-benefit-relationships-19422399. Accessed 1 October 2021.