Reflective Essay about Motivating Children to Success

Many parents are pushing their children to succeed from a younger age than ever before. It also seems that every kid has memories of having to go home to angry parents because they did not quite make the grade that was expected of them. But what if there was a different way to encourage children to do well? My parents took an unorthodox approach to encourage me to prosper as I have gone through school. That is, they never pushed me to succeed. Sure, they wanted me to do well in school, but they did not expect me to get perfect grades or to be the star player of every sports team. All they wanted me to do was to put effort into everything that I do. The extent of how much I was pushed was a decision I was allowed to make for myself. Yet, unlike how one would expect a kid to behave when given this level of freedom, it was this novel system that helped me to become who I am today. 

One of the most valuable outcomes of being allowed to succeed on my own terms was that I was able to explore the full extent of my academic abilities. This was done especially through the fact that I felt no shame in making mistakes.  Unlike a lot of peers growing up, my parents where not fixated on a perfect grade on every assignment. Because no one expected me to be perfect, I was not afraid of making mistakes.. Slowly, as I gained confidence through doing well in small things, I eventually gained the confidence to start trying to do more and more ambitious things. Although, not everything that I tried to do would pan out for I often dreamed a little too big. While I would occasionally fly too close to the sun, it was through failing at things I was able to learn and see growth . Yet, because I never had to worry about disappointing my parents, there was only one person who I could ever disappoint-myself. 

It is this sense of disappointment that can be dangerous when you are allowed to self motivate. Just because my parents were happy with my performance, it did not mean that I was always happy with what I had been able to produce. Often, I was the only one dissatisfied with myself, which also meant that I was the only one critiquing my own work. It was then  like second nature to beat myself up over every small mistake. Thus, I became a kind of perfectionist. Never satisfied with my work, I always thought I could do a better job. Once I did something, I would always look back and think that  I could have put even more effort in order to do an even better job. I still remain self critical to this day, but I have made efforts to be a little less hard on myself and recognize, like my parents have, that perfection is an impossible goal.

Even if there were elements of having to motivate myself that were slightly negative, there are still many effects that far outweighed the downfalls of being able to motivate myself. Temperance had to become something I practiced regularly so I didn’t attempt to do more than I could handle. Setting goals was especially helpful in this matter since it would help to focus my ambition to a singular cause. Another important aspect was that despite the fact that I often did well, I was able to take a certain sense of pride in what I had accomplished. And  as a perfectionist, I was still able to take pride when I had done something truly extraordinary or unique. One thing that perfectionism cannot ruin is pride from a sense of individuality. It was through being allowed to be independent that this individuality followed Since I was free to do what I wanted, I gained a sense of individuality. This was in part because I was able to define what success meant for me. Success was learning and being yourself, not just ensuring that you get the grade that you want. This is something that to this day I still greatly value. 

While allowing me to decide that I wanted to do well was an unconventional decision made by my parents, I cannot think of a way that I would have preferred to have been raised. Rather than forcing me to succeed they let me be. For that, I am extremely grateful.