Reflective Essay Sample: Do Context and Other People Really Affect Your Identity?

Living in a world where there is a necessity of having a clear picture of one's idea of themselves to live a successful and happy life, it comes to our mind that our surroundings are a crucial component to shaping our sense of self, our identity. But on the other hand, for the most part, your identity is in your hands, so how can people affect it if they can't control what occurs inside your brain? Nevertheless, there are a multiplicity of viewpoints to see the concept of identity and its shapings.

As you grow up, your parents teach you the core values on which you base your decisions. They are the first ones to shape your stream of thoughts and beliefs. As you grow, you realise that your religion, values and hobbies are heavily influenced or acquired by your parents. They are the ones who teach you the difference between right and wrong. If your parents are Christian, you would have your belief tuned to that religion, or if your parents were active and adventurous, that would be a significant part of your life. All their teachings lead to you perceiving yourself in a particular way and identifying with it. They have moulded our minds and values. A piece of the puzzle of our identity is laid on us by them. 

On the contrary, I have understood from various people that I am in control of my thoughts, actions and speech, so according to them, I am in the power of the way I perceive myself and how I identify. Beliefs and thoughts shape my identity, and I am in control of my thoughts. If someone tells you that you look like a donkey, you will not start identifying as a donkey as your thoughts are in your hands. Likewise, if you are around numerous types of people, you will retain their beliefs and opinions, but it is in your power whether or not you will go by them. Therefore your identity is in your hands to shape, not others.

Memories are what we learn from, remember, and cherish. If we have a negative memory of someone, we will learn from that and stay away. If we have a fond one, we will look back on it and cherish it. These experiences shape our identity. Research confirms that 49% of children who've had a traumatic past with abusive parents are proceeding the cycle by growing up to becoming abusive parents themselves. That supports the idea that memories of the past ingrained into us; form beliefs and are instrumental in our decision making. Situations and people of our past hold power on moulding us with their intricate pieces in shaping our experiences.

There is no denying that each individual goes through different situations and people, but that doesn't conclude that their identity is shaped and made by them. However, it is up to you if you let them affect your beliefs and individuality. It is in your hands as to what you want to retain and discard. People can only be a medium of expressing their knowledge and beliefs. They cannot shape your perception of self. It is for you to contemplate on and set as your conviction which in the end is your identity. They may have the puzzle pieces, but it is up to you to let them join it to shape you.

So the question of do people and situations shape our identity? Has a broad point of view from which you must decide by using your discriminative knowledge. Characters in your life teach you things, but it is in your hands whether or not to retain their teachings into your belief system from which you are perceived and perceive yourself. A puzzle takes a while to solve, so will your identity.