Sex, Lies, and Conversation Article Analysis

📌Category: Articles
📌Words: 896
📌Pages: 4
📌Published: 27 January 2022

Men and women tend to complain that they can't communicate with the opposite sex. In “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” (1990) The author explains how each gender has different specific ways of communication. Tanner gave us an understating of how both genders learn how to communicate with each other, and that most women want to communicate while men see that as a problem. Even within the younger age groups experience different types of communication skills. Overall communication plays a lead role in everyone's lives and it's something we all have to get better at.  

For example, Tannen believes that men engage more in public conversation than women do, but men talk less at home. "Throughout the evening, one man had been particularly talkative, frequently offering ideas and anecdotes, while his wife sat silently beside him on the couch. Toward the end of the evening, I commented that women frequently complain that their husbands don't talk to them. This man quickly concurred. He gestured toward his wife and said, "She's the talker in our family." The room burst into laughter; the mall looked puzzled and hurt. "It's true," he explained. When I come home from work I have nothing 10 say. If she didn't keep the conversation going, we'd spend the whole evening in silence"(Tannen 1). This shows how men can talk when they are around a group of people while the wife or girlfriend is mostly quiet minding her businesses. He explains how when he comes home from work and he waits for his wife to make a conversation. If she doesn’t make a conversation, they wouldn't talk all night. I agree with everything Tanner said she had a lot of valid points between both genders.  

As a matter of fact, within one of my past relationship's I would try to make conversation with him, and most of the time he wouldn't pay me any attention. I would feel that he was ignoring me because he wouldn’t even look at me while I was talking. Being in a relationship you have to communicate with each other that’s one thing that can make or break the relationship. When we would argue and I'm trying to let him know how I feel it felt like he didn’t care and that I was in this relationship by myself. That can drain the one who feels they're the only one who cares about the relationship. "She just wants to talk about her point of view. Iff shows her another view, she gets mad at me” (Tanner 3). The men feel when women want to talk about things, they feel the women just complain about everything and blame them when that’s not the case at all. For an example, in my past relationship, there were times I wasn’t happy anymore because I felt he wasn’t into the relationship like I was. I would try to express to him that I don’t get enough attention from him and that I feel he’s distancing away from me. He wouldn’t even acknowledge me then I got to the point where I was tired of fighting for a relationship with someone who doesn’t even try, so I let that relationship and him go. It's very draining being in a relationship with no communication, so having great communication goes a long way. 

Furthermore, marriage is another point that was made in the article, lack of communication and effort can cause a divorce to happen within the marriage. Communication is a huge concept that has to be done in marriage or any relationship or it won't last. “But often when women tell men, "You aren't listening," and the men protest, "I am," the men are right. The impression of 110t listening results from misaligrunents in the mechanics of conversation” (Tannen 2). Women feel that their husband doesn’t pay them any mind but they do they don’t know how to express it. Men don’t know what kind of conversations the women want because women tend to want to talk about problems, while the men don’t know what to say or make the women feel better. If both men and women could get a type of understating of how they could consider things it would make the marriages a lot better and prevent failed marriages and relationships. Most of the time women are the ones who want to talk things out when there's an issue rather than the men. “How can women and men have such different impressions of communication in marriage” (Tanner 1)? They both have different ways to communicate. Women consider communication is base of a relationship, talking more feel they can grow more with their spouse, and women prefer eye contact while talking with their spouse. Men on the other hand communicate by doping things together with their spouse, talk more in public with other people rather than their wife or girlfriend, the topic of conversation change, and how they engage the conversation.  

In conclusion, both genders have different ways of communicating with each other. Being in a relationship you have to understand how both genders communicate. If you can communicate then what's the point of being in a relationship with each other. One of many reasons why relationship and failed marriage happen is because of miscommunication. “. Accepting the difference, the wives may look to their friends or family for that kind of talk, And husbands who can't provide it shouldn't feel their wives have made unreasonable demands. Some couples will still decide to divorce, but at least their decisions will be based on realistic expectations” (Tanner 3). The couple has accepted the way they both communicate and if they can do so then the marriage or relationship will end. 

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