Tessa and Hardin Relationships in After by Anna Todd Essay Example

As you continue to enjoy After by Anna Todd, it is critical to understand the implications of Tessa and Hardin’s relationship. In heterosexual relationships, especially those that fall under the good girl/bad boy trope, the woman is often hyperaware of her partner’s feelings— Tessa and Hardin are no different. Throughout the novel, despite her lack of acknowledgment, Tessa finds herself investing more energy into her so-called relationship than Hardin. Tessa often interprets his reluctance to be involved in their relationship as a reflection of his troubled past. However, this misinterpretation causes her subconscious agreement to any sexual act. Although Tessa feels internal guilt after every sexual encounter with Hardin, it is not because there was an absence of consent but because she is afraid he will return to his impassive self. In this blog, I will explore affirmative consent amongst college students by analyzing imbalanced interpersonal relationships, as seen in After.

In the study Sexual Citizens: Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus by Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Kahn, the authors dive deep into what consent means to college students. They note, "Women can be charitable in evaluating men's struggle with how to move things to the next level." (Hirsch & Khan, 127) Within the context of After, Tessa always responds to Hardin's outbursts with a sexual act. Why does she use sex? Well, because she feels inadequate to him. Hardin is a sexually-experienced sophomore, while she is a sexually-inexperienced first-year. The distinct differences in their sexual experiences make Tessa feel like she has nothing to offer other than intimacy. Despite her shortcomings in sexual experiences, that is just one of the main reasons behind their imbalance as a couple. Their imbalanced relationship is also rooted in their differences as individuals. This sentiment is shared by Hardin when he says to Tessa, "You and I are very different people, so we'll just have to figure out how to navigate one another." (Todd, 458) This confession from Hardin later in the novel shows how he is well aware of their imbalance and how it continues to impact their relationship. Unfortunately, this does not stick. After his confession, he went back to being distant and angry toward Tessa anytime she would ask any personal questions. His inability to try and make things work further perpetuates the imbalance in their relationship. 

The extent of Tessa and Hardin’s relationship imbalance is worth exploring further due to the impact it can have on impressionable readers. One chapter that stroke me as concerning was chapter seventy-two. In this chapter, Tessa and Hardin are having dinner at Chancellor Scott's house. The dinner is going well until the Chancellor brings up an unwanted memory for Hardin. Hardin quickly outbursts and goes to his room, and as a response, Tessa goes after him (like she always does). She opens the door to an angry Hardin that is breaking a desktop computer. Tessa usually disapproves of this behavior, but to avoid Hardin taking out his anger on her, she accompanies him and finishes destroying the desktop computer. Hardin is taken aback by this, yet it makes him appreciate her so he decides to kiss her. The following morning, Tessa makes sure Hardin knows he can tell her if something is wrong. Her small gesture somehow made Hardin angry. She tells us, "I decide to let it go. We have gotten along all weekend; it's a record for us. I don't want to ruin it." (Todd, 396) Their interaction shows how she is the only one trying to make their relationship work. How does this relate to consent? Well, in all their sexual encounters, she is with him because she wants him to be happy, even if it is short-lived. Sometimes they have to kiss to shut each other up, and sometimes it escalates into something more. Regardless of what happens, Tessa is always afraid of the next day because she knows Hardin will return to being mean. As mentioned throughout this blog, there is an imbalance in Tessa and Hardin’s relationship. The decisions made by either party are based on Hardin's emotions. As a fellow reader, it makes me sad that Tessa has to deal with Hardin for the sake of love. She is an inexperienced girl who wants to be happy on her own terms. Her hyperawareness of Hardin's feelings makes her consent to sexual encounters because she wants him to be less angry. We can argue that Hardin was at least asking for her consent before doing anything. But, does that serve any good in this situation? No. Even if he did not ask, Tessa would have agreed if it meant he would calm down. It is imperative for all avid readers of After to understand the intricacies of affirmative consent. Affirmative consent is saying yes before participating in any sexual act; however, it is influenced by circumstance.