The loss of innocence in Where Are You Going Where Have You Been by Joyce Carol Oates Essay Example

The loss of innocence is something that occurs to everyone at some point in life. It doesn’t happen at a certain age or a set time period in our lives, for some people it can happen early on because of some trauma, or it can occur over a longer period of time as the individual grows. “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” is a story of a girl Connie who knows she is beautiful, but her beauty gets her in trouble and by the end of the story her innocence is shatter in hope that she is saving her family. In today’s society people still struggle to believe that women are “more than sexual object” and that we are in charge of ourselves and don’t need a man (Wilber). This short story can symbolize the “exploitation of women by men, and how women allow themselves to be controlled (Wilber).  Also, in the story the author creates the character to have “insecurity about her own self-worth" and “low self-esteem" which plays about in the meanings of the story (Holmen). In this paper, I argue that Joyce Carol Oates’ short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” contains the message of how women are still viewed in societies eyes and how they are treated based on looks, which plays a part of the loss of innocence for women of all ages.  

Sometimes in society the media and others have blamed the women for how they're treated and for the things cause to them. The old saying that there is always “two sides to a story” is very true when it comes to women today losing the innocence they have left, however people sometimes like to overlook a certain side of the story. Usually, it is the women voice who isn't heard because others will say she was asking for it by what she was wearing, which is shattering to a young girl's life. In the story it can be argued that Connie is “facing the frightening fears of her behavior” as if it was her fault and claiming it is something “she has so consciously learned and practiced” (Wagner-Martin). Within the reading Connie may come across this way however all she simply wanted was a life less boring or mundane and didn’t want to end up like her sister or mother therefore it wasn’t her fault that Arnold Friend showed up to her house. People can’t go placing blame just because a women's wardrobe and attitude is different than what society claims and wants women to be, they have the same right as men to be who they want to be. This affects the women mentally and she will go through life have the mindset that no matter what it is always going to be the women's fault, and in the future, this could be detrimental on her and others around her. Another point that can be stated about Connie is that “she has no control” within the situation, which is both true and false in its own ways (Urbanski). The reason that this statement is true is that she didn’t have a choice to go with Arnold Friend because he threatened to hurt her family once they returned home and even though in the story she disliked them, they are still her family and deep down she loves them. The false part of the statement is that she had the chance and opportunity to call the police when she reached the phone, in addition to locking both the screen door and normal door from the very beginning, even though the author didn’t have her do these things that opportunity was still there. Each point shows that Connie had more control of the situation then the author let on and had the chance to not be treated the way she was by the drunk who was threatening her and her family. This is important not only in the story but in our world today because it shows how when people believe they don’t have choice, they actually have more than they are willing to see. 

When women have been treated poorly repeatedly, they start to believe it's their own fault and no one else. This is not the case, no one deserves to be treated in any type of bad manner whether it’s coming from a male or female, this can cause the loss of innocence to slowly disappear because when day after day you are being treated the same way you start to believe you deserve it which can cause self-esteem and personal image issues. This all contributes to the idea of innocence within a person especially a younger female. Connies character makes the “decision to leave the house and spare her family” and this can be a sign as her character making some type of “redemption” because she sees what's happening as her fault and that she was the one who caused everything bad going on (Hartwell). Innocence isn't something that is just meant in sexual terms, it can very much be mental by the way you think or see yourself, also it can be physical in the way that you learn not to care and let yourself go or even care to much where you start to under eat and work out much more than you should be. Since Connie really does believe that what is happening is her fault, she’s “simply surrendering her virginal innocence” which can later be tied back to the spiritual connection, and she feels these “absolute forces over her which she has no control” and must go with Arnold Friend because of the quilt built within her (Urbanski). This continues the idea that innocence is not always physical or intimate but subconscious. The subconscious aspect of innocence is a bigger problem than others realize, when Arnold Friend first arrived at Connies home, she realized the back of his car was beaten up and because of what was written on the car it made her come to the conclusion that he “doesn't respect women and thinks that men are superior” (Wilber). When women see that this is how many men are it starts to affect them mentally because that thought of a perfect man or prince charming starts to fade away and the thought of men abusive disrespectful men becomes more prevalent. This concept continues to show how innocence is so much more than what people have been taught. 

The innocence concept within this short story can also be tied back to the spiritual allegory talked about throughout the story. When reading “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” you can find areas throughout the story that can be tied to in the biblical sense of innocence. Arnold Friend is a great example of this because it can be said that he is a representation of Satan and that “his feet resemble the devil’s cloven hooves” (Urbanski). Secondly, he also “represents the devil who tempts the chaste yet morally vacuous girl-victim” and the girl victim being Connie who is the one losing her innocence by have this interaction with a devilish character and submitting herself to him in order to safe her family because she believes everything happening was caused by her (Urbanski). The loss of innocence within this story has proven to be more than something physical and mental, it is now spiritual. Another small detail is in the beginning of the story when the girls went to hang out, they went to a burger shop that made them feel “as if they were entering a sacred building” this could be a parallel with them walking into a “church service” (Urbanski). The spiritual aspect may not seem too important when reading over this story however, it expands on the loss of innocence which has been proven that it is so much more than loss of sexual innocence and that there are boundaries people may not have noticed or believed are actually there. Whether people are spiritual or not these things spoken about today is something that everyone has somewhere tucked away in their mind and that people around the world sharing the same boundaries even if we realize it or not. 

In this paper I’ve argued the importance of women being treated with respect and how innocence isn’t what people have always that it to be. The thing about innocence is that it is a lot deeper than people care to think about and actually learn how it can affect people especially when they lose this thing they didn’t realize was there.  This loss can affect the future of a person because it can become an insecurity, and if Connie were to grow up with that in the back of her mind her “insecurity makes her completely vulnerable to the will of other”, this doesn’t just go for a person like Connie, it can relate to any one person who goes through life with the loss of innocence (Holeman). When it does come to the loss of innocence whether mental, physical, or spiritual there are ways to conserve or save these things. All there is to it is finding what you want to learn more about and simply search up your research topic. With all this new information people have the chance to make a bigger difference then they believe. They could have to chance to spread light on topics similar to the loss of innocence in women and how they should be treated rather than how people in today's society are being treated. When reading and making these connections and realization it convinces others that there is a current problem in our world and that these things could be taught better, so people aren't making the mistakes that have been discussed.