The Relationship between a Parent and Their Child in The Kite Runner (Book Analysis)

📌Category: Books, The Kite Runner
📌Words: 1127
📌Pages: 5
📌Published: 17 February 2022

Parent/child relationships are a key part of life. They allow both members to grow and explore life with love and stability. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, shows readers how unhealthy relationships can affect both members, in good and bad ways. In this novel, readers see three main parent/child relationships. The one between Amir and Baba is expressed through the father being unloving towards his son. The relationship between Hassan and Baba which was completely hidden and closed off. And finally, a relationship between Amir and Sohrab, both trying to figure out how to make it work when they are not directly related. In order to have a healthy parent/child relationship, both parties need to continuously commit to each other.

Baba is not a good father considering how inconsistent his love is towards Amir. Throughout the book, Baba is an uncaring and selfish father. Early in the book, Amir listens in on his father and Rahim Khan's conversation. He overhears his father saying, “If I hadn't seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I'd never believe he's my son” (Hosseini 23). Baba claims this because his son is nothing like him. Rather than allowing to be Amir to be who he is, Baba puts his own wants of who he wants him to be first. Amir is devastated by this comment and feels no love when he hears his father say this. A few chapters later, Amir wins the kite flying tournament. Baba expresses love and pride towards Amir at this moment, “He was standing on the edge, pumping both of his fists. Hollering and clapping. And that right there was the single greatest moment of my twelve years of life, seeing Baba on that roof, proud of me at last” (Hosseini 66). Baba is so proud of his son, yet it is the first time Amir has ever experienced that love and care from his father. When Amir goes back to Afghanistan, he speaks with Rahim Khan. Amir finds out Baba was also Hassan's father; because of this hidden relationship with Hassan, he takes his sins out on Amir. “When he [Baba] saw you, he saw himself. And his guilt. You are still angry [….] but maybe someday you will see that when your father was hard on you, he was also being hard on himself” (Hosseini 301). Baba taking his sins out on Amir led to Amir growing up as an uncared and unloved child. Baba taking his guilt out on his son is unhealthy. At times in the novel, we see Baba being a loving father, other times we see him not treating Amir like a son; he is so inconsistent with this relationship, that it leads it to be unhealthy.

Considering that the relationship between Hassan and Baba is hidden, it is consistently an unhealthy relationship. Hassan and his guardian, Ali, were the families' servants. Hassan never knew his biological father was Baba. He was constantly lied to and told Ali was his father. Hassan was never treated fully as a child by Baba, he was known as his servant. Because of this blood relationship being hidden for all of Hassan's life, he never knew his real father was Baba. This is the biggest sign of an unhealthy relationship because neither of them could express love like a family should. Hassan was never informed that Baba was his father, it was told to Amir by Rahim Khan: “Sanaubar wasn’t Ali's first wife’[.…]

‘Ali was sterile’[…] 

‘[...]He and Sanaubar had Hassan, didn't they?’[...] 

‘No they didn't Amir,[...] I think you know who” (Hosseini 222). 

Hassan dies never knowing who his father is. The relationship was never open between the two of them which led caused Hassan to never be able to experience love from a father. Hassan was never able to do all of the things Amir was able to do, like go to school, move to America, and have a career. Baba proved his love for Hassan time and time again, “but he could not love Hassan the way he longed to, openly, and as a father” (Hosseini 301). Baba never wanted anyone to realize he had a second son in light of how other individuals would view him. He was never able to love Hassan openly for this reason. This relationship is unhealthy since it is unfortunately covered up.

Although Amir attempts to be a replacement father for Sohrab, this is still a problematic relationship. Amir saves Sohrab from the torture he endures from the Taliban. Sohrab was being abused, raped, and humiliated by them. Once Amir saves him, he mentions the idea of adoption and bringing Sohrab back to the United States. This begins to shift into a very hard process for both of them. As Amir gets told the process will be difficult and take a while, the only option is for Sohrab to go back to an orphanage: “Well, Mr.Faisal thinks that it would really help if we could… if we could ask you to stay in a home for kids for a while”(Hosseini 341). Sohrab's immediate response is begging Amir not to do that to him. Amir then falls asleep and wakes up to Sohrab unconscious in the bathtub from a suicide attempt. Amir just told a young boy life-shattering news, and then went to sleep. This proves Amir to be a selfish and unaware father figure. Although he is trying to save him, he does more harm than good. After Sohrab's suicide attempt, Amir finds out a way to get Sohrab into the states. He speaks about the idea, but Sohrab stays silent. “In the end, Sohrab never accepted my offer[.…] so what I took from him was in actuality a quiet surrender (Hosseini 356). Sohrab never says he wants to go with Amir, he never even gives an answer in general. Although going with Amir was Sohrab's best and only option, he was still brought there unwillingly. Amir did what he thought was best for Sohrab, even if it was not what Sohrab wanted. Because of all that Sorab has been through, he brings a lot of mental problems and trust issues into this relationship. This creates an unhealthy atmosphere between the two of them because Sohrab is so unhappy and distrusts Amir. With Sohrab being so closed up, it does not allow either of them to be open, honest, and themselves with each other. Even though there is a pattern in this book with unhealthy relationships being caused by the parent, this relationship shows that both parties can bring unhealthy aspects. 

Having a healthy parent/child relationship that functions correctly, needs both parties to constantly focus on one another. In Amir and Baba’s relationship, there are times of healthy aspects and very unhealthy ones also. Baba pushed his own son aside when something better got his attention. Hassan and Baba’s relationship was nothing like Amir and Baba’s. Hassan never knew Baba was his biological father which led to love never being able to be shown openly. As Amir saved Sohrab he wanted to become his adoptive father. Sohrab brought a lot of his own issues to this relationship as Amir was unable to handle them. Healthy parent/child relationships are so vital to one’s life. Members suffer mentally when a relationship is unhealthy.

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