Conflicts in Relationship (Free Essay Sample)

Having a conflict in a relationship or marriage can has been seen as a necessity. Conflict can hold many positives, but also comes with negatives in both relationships and marriages. The problem arises when two people create conflict. If those two are unable to effectively understand and address these issues more conflict can arise. Although, if the two individuals know the effective strategies the marriage and/or relationship can continue to grow. This will benefit not just them, but their children and mental stability. 

Conflict arises in every relationship and marriage! You cannot get away from it, but you can be occupied with strategies to ensure that the conflict is handled with civility. Relationships need conflict to better promote opportunities which will grow the perceiving and experiencing greater intimacy (Borst 2015). Intimacy can grow during the conflict to be healthy and helpful! This is not about sexual intimacy, but this may see an increase. This is the intimacy of understanding one's partner through their thoughts and feelings. Understanding these areas will help one understand where one is coming from during an argument. This can be in the relationship with the significant other, parents, and the children that are in the household. Creating an atmosphere where others' thoughts and feelings are heard can create a healthier argument during the small and larger issues. Some of these issues can be distinguished between central and less central problems. Central issues are the proximity and availability of their partner. With less central issues being about finances within the household (Borst 2015). These areas can be a burden and hardship if not communicated in the correct way for the family. Although allowing these to come to the surface can grow the communication in the household among significant others and parents. 

Communication is so important not in adult life, but also being instilled within the youth. Understanding constructive strategies can provide easier communication about more serious issues that arise. These constrictive strategies can encourage the change of seeing others' viewpoints, open discussions, and allowing for conflict to be made more easily communicated in harder times (Borst 2015). Making these adjustments to the viewpoints of one another in an argument could help establish more of an open discussion on different matters. 

Intimacy is not the only benefit that comes from conflict. Attachment is more likely to evoke threat, but if it is resolved successfully it can promote a greater bond. Bonds between those who are just dating can be grown and ensure that healthier communication strategies are being used. It also ensures that those of both parties are being heard during hardships. Married couples can also use this to help with the home and children. Sometimes this doesn’t or isn’t a part of the household and divorce seems to be the only answer. Some issues that may be warning signs of a marriage falling into a divorce due to the conflict are family issues, anger and resentment, finical hardship, the difficulty of children, and negative life events (Pietromonaco, 2004). Many times one partner is found cheating or other unlawful acts that go against the vow that they took. Or it could just be a disagreement over time that just seems to get bigger and bigger with time. Even though it has gotten bigger it still affects everyone in the house. The children are affected by conflict and divorce more than we think they are. Many times children are seen acting differently towards their peers in and out of school settings. Making and maintaining relationships is an issue for these young children as well as the relationship they have with their parents. Children feel as if they have to pick sides during a divorce which will cause them unwanted mental health issues (Pietromonaco, 2004). Mental health issues are serious and need to be taken care of at the source. Many times those children that are living in the middle of divorce find themselves trying to “wash away” the pain with alcohol and drug abuse. While other students with parents divorcing show greater disobedience at school (Borst, 2015). Many times this isn’t revealed until teachers or friends reach out to their parents. 

In conclusion, conflict can be seen as a positive in a relationship growth not just the communication skills. But can also be taught how to find the core of one another thoughts and feelings through intimacy. Conflict is not a saint as well causing many to divorce due to the disagreements and anger built up. This does not just affect them, but their children as well with much mental health and physical health disadvantages.