What Do Grown Children Owe Their Parents? by Jane English Article Analysis

Debt is defined as money, goods, or services that one person is to pay or preform for the others benefit.  There is a dispute on if children are in forever debt towards their parents simply because they are their parents. According to the essay What do children owe their parents? by Jane English, explains whether children must repay debt to their parents based on their relationship. English claims that children do not owe their parents anything. I support her main thesis that children should not be in debt towards their parents. Parents sign up to take care of their child once the child is born and depending on the relationship between the child and parent; the child does not necessarily need to owe their parents.  

When a child is born, the parents become sole caregivers to their child. This means that they must feed, clean, and provide for the kid. Parents sign up for a demanding job, that takes a lot of time and effort, which makes some parents believe that their children owe them for everything they have done. However, children do not need to repay their parents for what they have done for them, whether it is paying for college, a car, or just simple necessities. English explains that favors are frequently performed by random strangers which is true as many people do things out of the kindness of their heart. Preforming favors for your child are different because you are taking care of the child. A child cannot take care of themselves and need a parental figure to tend to them. Parents should do favors for their children with a kindness and caring attitude. Another example that English explains, is how children will show signs of feeling unmotivated do pay the debt because they simply will not feel like it. A child will eventually grow an opinion and will realize what is best for them. As soon as the child realizes they do not want to pay it forward with their parents, they will just not do the favor. The parents should not expect favors from their children just because of the “favors” they give to their children. 

A relationship between a parent and a child is not perfect. Some families do not have good communication and can be considered toxic households for the child. Majority of these households have parents who expect their children to pay them back even for necessities such as food, shelter, and clothes. This requires children to be in debt starting from the day they are born. As the child grows up, they will realize that they do not owe their parents anything because if the parent is not respecting them, why should the child. “Sacrifices have an important casual role in creating an ongoing friendship,” Jane claims; however, these toxic parents see these sacrifices as if they are obligated or forced to tend to the child. This means that this will no longer be a friendship or meaningful relationship between the child and parent, creating an almost forced relationship. The child does not need to pay their debt to this forced relationship when the parent is feeling obligated to show support for the child.  Debt should not be a thing especially towards parents who are expecting a child to pay them back for what they have done. Parents like these create toxicity and have children who do not want their parents to be apart of their life. Children should not feel obligated to pay their “debt” to their parents especially with toxic parents.

Although I do believe that children do not owe their parents anything, I can see why parents believe that their child should pay them back even in different ways. For example, if parent is paying for the child’s college, car, or down payment on a home because they love and care about the child then the child should at least take care of the parent when they get older. A loving relationship should be reciprocal with favors. However, so long as it is a loving relationship, and the parent and child are truly invested into the relationship. English talks about how not all debt is necessarily equal. However, in a loving relationship the favors will not feel as though they need to be equal because both parties are doing it out of the kindness of their heart. The child’s debt will not feel owed, it will feel genuine and they will want to do the task.  Even though a loving relationship should allow the child to repay their debt, it does not mean that the child should be forced to pay back their debt no matter what relationship they have with their parents. 

Jane English did an amazing job with her essay on why children should not owe their parents anything. I agree with the thesis as I can relate to it as well. A child should not be forced to have to pay back favors that their parents have done for them in the past. If the child wants to do it then let them but, it should come from the kindness of their heart not the pressure of being forced to do it. This question is a constant ongoing dispute between both parents and children. However, once a child it is born, the parent must have responsibility for that child even the toxic households. A child, because of this, does not owe their parents anything, not even an ounce of their time if it was not reciprocated back from the parent. Overall, children have a right to move on from their past, free of debt, to live their lives to the fullest just like their parents once had without the opinion of their parents.