Analysis of Conversation Style: Talking on the Job by Deborah Tannen (Essay Example)

I chose to read the article "Conversation Style: Talking on the Job" written by Deborah Tannen. This article highlighted the differences in how men and women communicate in the workplace and discussed outside factors that contribute to those differences. I found this article relevant to my life because I work part-time at my local fire department as a Firefighter/EMT and I have witnessed those patterns regularly throughout my career. It was fascinating for me to read about the psychology behind the conversational style differences between the two genders, from the perspective of a linguist and a sociologist that the author referenced. The most important takeaway I got from this article is how the different conversation patterns contribute to the "glass ceiling" problem in the workforce. 

I think everyone can think of a time they felt frustrated when trying to have a conversation with someone of the opposite sex who seemed to just not understand what you were trying to convey. The author, Deborah Tannen, validated that frustration by explaining that this is a universal pattern. Differing conversation styles between genders is largely determined by environmental factors as a person grows up. Things such as family interaction, television, social media, culture, religion, and career choice can all effect the development of conversational style in an individual. In other words, young boys observe the roles that men in their life play and develop their conversation style from them, and vice versa for young girls observing women. Men have a tendency to handle problems on their own and not spend too much time worrying about other people's feelings, which could make their conversation style appear arrogant, harsh or blunt. Men also do not want others to view them as "less than" in any way. This offers an explaination for the running joke about men refusing to ask for directions; they do not want others to think that they are lacking in the knowledge department. This applies in the workplace as well because men are less likely to ask questions about a subject they are unfamilar with, generally they would rather teach themselves about that subject instead of admitting to others that they just don't know. On the other hand, women are more likely to be concerned about other people's feelings and as a result of not wanting to appear boastful, they're often viewed as less confident by their male counterparts. 

The conversation patterns I noted in the previous paragraph are extremely prevalant at the fire department. Firefighting, like many other careers, is a field that has always been dominated by men and therefor the male-style of conversation has been established long before women joined the field. Because of this, women coming into these workplaces are at a disadvantage and are tasked with figuring out how to be accepted as an equal. This is the obstacle that conrtibutes to the "glass ceiling", or the barrier that prevents women from moving up within a workplace at the same rate as men. Personally, I've learned that the communication style with my fellow firefighters (all men) is less sensitive than most of my conversations with non-firefighters. There's also a lot of playful joking and horseplay with those guys, along with having to prove physical strength to our peers in order to be seen as equally competent. The most critical evidence of typical male conversation style that I notice within the fire department is the resistance to admit "I don't know". The guys that I work with have an ego that's sensitive to other people's doubt, they don't want to be seen as less knowledgable than the other firefighters. Because of that, they would rather keep quiet and try to figure it out on their own. I disagree with that mentality because I'd rather learn from someone who has the firsthand experience and knows exactly what they're talking about. This can be dangerous in the field of emergency response because we never know when we might be required to perform a certain task, and if a person had previously been afraid to admit that they aren't familiar with something due to wanting to protect their knowledgable reputation, they might fail in the moment that the skill is needed. 

In conclusion, the article Deborah Tannen wrote provides a crystal-clear explaination of the different conversation styles between men and women. I believe it's a valuable read for everyone, as we could all benefit from a deeper understanding of the opposite gender's communication. Perhaps we might be able to observe the nature of gender related converstation style morph over time as the influences in our life are rapidly changing.