Decoding Popularity by Tania Luna Article Analysis

The desire to be liked is often derived from the popularity of others. Most of the time, the result of one’s popularity is based on their social status or even how much money they have. It often occurs especially during teenage years, this desire to be liked. From middle school throughout college, people often just want to fit in with the crowd. In an article written by Tania Luna titled “Decoding Popularity,” she makes many similar statements that I agree with. Not only does she talk about the desire to be liked, and longing for popularity, but she also states the dangers of being neglected; as well as how to make people feel welcomed. This is helpful for people who want an outsider's input on how “being liked” or “popularity” works. 

Being liked is a very difficult goal to fulfill, and is mainly predicated on stereotypes. I say this because most people feel as if it is important to be liked by others when this is not the case. In my opinion, self-love is more important than being liked by people, who in reality, you know little to nothing about. This is one of the main reasons why I strongly believe we should always keep our personal needs and mental health first. In “Self-Love and What It Means” written by Jeffrey Borenstein, many valid points are made. Jeffrey noted, “Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”

The majority of the time, people try too hard to be liked and end up rejected. In Luna's article, she states that this sometimes happens because “They come on too strong or constantly suggest activities that don’t match the interest of the group.” I agree. When someone tries to get someone to like them it can often come off as annoying, or irritating for the person who they are trying to impress. Hostile or impulsive people also seem to get rejected due to their aggressiveness towards others. When it comes to anxious or distrustful humans, it is basically the same. They are prone to neglect while outgoing and funny kids are controversial.

I will be one of the first to admit, I wanted to be liked during my middle school and high school years. I was afraid of being an outcast. Although I was one of the more well-liked students, I feared losing that title. It seems as if when you are desiring to be liked by someone else, you begin to focus on everyone else more than yourself. You want to wear what everyone else wears, do what they do, and even say that you like the same things as them when you may not. Looking back now, I see the problem with this situation. While doing these things, you are putting your true self down. You are holding back your creative, distinct side. Instead, you are blending in with the crowd. 

This brings me back to the topic of loving yourself more than your love and longing for being liked. Jeffrey Borenstein had a very well-written blog about not only how we can stop putting others before ourselves, but how this will help us physically and emotionally in the long run. A strong statement made was “When you hold yourself in high esteem, you're more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well.” This is an uplifting statement telling us if we choose better, we can get better outcomes. 

One of the main sources that have a major influence on the desire to be liked is social media platforms. When seeing others post their lavish life it often results in a negative comparison to our own. For example, females see models on magazines, television, social media, etc., and compare their personal looks to them. Even though deep down we know it is a false representation of themselves instead of an actual image of how they live their everyday lives, we still compare our outside appearance to their own. This is because as odd as it sounds humans actually do have a desire to want what they do not have. This results in downing yourself when you should be thankful for what you do have and appreciate the people and environment you have around you.

When graduating from college and starting a new life down the line is normally when the reality sets in of how much time and energy may have been wasted trying to please others instead of ourselves. This is because it is a time where the things we thought were so important to us mean little to nothing anymore. Between being married, having children, a real job, and a life on your own it can become so busy that you do not have the time to even think about what others are doing. You get to focus on yourself and the things that you desire to have in your life, instead of worrying about keeping up with the world around you or the faux images put out by influencers of the not-so-real “perfect person."