Who is Most Responsible for the Deaths in William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?

In the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, two teens from rival families fall in love at first sight. They will do anything to be together with no exceptions for death, resulting in tragedy. Said tragedy is mostly Romeo’s fault due to his obsessive tendencies and the infliction of toxic societal norms. 

The word tragedy is said to mean, “a play or other serious literary work with an unhappy ending.” The word applies to Romeo and Juliet in the extreme. With a grand total of six deaths you could most definitely state that this play does not have a happy ending. The fact that the two main characters become a victim to teenage suicide is great suffering by itself. The large death toll is not the only component to the play's tragedy. The way that the society forces the people to conform to the toxic ideas of masculinity, wealth, and violence creates a recipe for disaster.

As stated earlier, Romeo is the most responsible for the tragedy. This does not mean he is the sole contributor, in fact, I believe that Friar Lawrence is a strong catalyst to the devastation. The friar’s first mistake was marrying Romeo and Juliet for the naive reason of bringing the rivalry of the Capulets and Montagues to a close. When that marriage is put to the test, both Romeo and Juliet go to the friar and share intent to kill themselves. Both times the friar is approached, he dismisses them, emasculating Romeo, and guiding Juliet down the wrong path of faking her death. When the time comes for Juliet's real death, the friar cowardly abandons her, giving Juliet the opportunity to die. Once the friar is finally caught by the watchmen, he admits to everything beginning with “I married them” (R&J 5.3. 242) and concluding with Juliet committing “violence on herself” (5.3. 273) due to the “noise” (5.3. 271) that scares the friar away. Friar Lawrence’s cowardice and selfishness is one of the main reasons why Romeo and Juliet die. 

Though Friar Lawrence plays a large part in the deaths of Romeo and Juliet, Romeo can be connected to each death throughout the play. I believe that Romeo’s greatest fault is obsessiveness. Romeo’s first signs of obsession shockingly do not begin with Juliet. He expresses that he is “in love” (1.1.173) with Rosaline, Capulet’s niece and more importantly a woman who does not love Romeo back. Their relationship is of most importance when he ignores a gut feeling that he will suffer an “untimely death” (1.4.118) because of a party he goes to, hosted by Capulet. Irresponsibly, Romeo goes anyway because of his obsession with seeing Rosaline. This gut feeling becomes heavy foreshadowing as Romeo meets Juliet. 

One obsession begins as one abruptly ends. As Romeo first sets his eyes on Juliet, he says that he has never seen “true beauty” (1.5. 60) until that night, completely cutting out Rosaline. In their first moments of meeting, Romeo and Juliet kiss twice and they don’t even know each other's names yet. Though the moment is intense, it doesn’t compare to the events that take place later that night. As the party comes to a close, the iconic balcony scene commences. Though the scene appears to be their innocent confession of love, it begins with Romeo nearly stalking Juliet. As an unsuspecting Juliet starts diving into her troubles regarding Romeo, he contemplates to himself if he should “hear more” (2.2. 40) or if he should “speak at this” (2.2 40) further proving that Juliet has no idea Romeo is there. Romeo reveals himself and as the two longingly confess their love for each other, Juliet has doubts about a relationship with Romeo. He accuses Juliet of leaving him “unsatisfied” (2.2. 132) which may allude to sex at first glance, but what he is really demanding is “thy love’s faithful vow for mine” (2.2. 134) or marriage. Suddenly, all of Juliet’s doubts are cast away. Though Juliet is a semi-willing participant, Romeo was still out of line by crossing her personal boundaries and stalking her, and by pressuring her into a marriage with him and dismissing her concerns because he is supposedly in love with her. 

We know that Romeo does not have great knowledge of love from Friar Lawrence, as he scolds Romeo and compares his feelings to “doting’ (2.3. 87) furthermore proving that love does not equal obsession and Romeo does not understand that concept. 

As I mentioned before, Romeo can be blamed for each death in the book. When Romeo is challenged by Tybalt, he nobly refuses to fight because there are more reasons to “love thee” (3.1. 64) because of Romeo’s new marital status with Tybalt’s cousin, Juliet. However, due to the pressures of the society, Romeo’s refusal is seen as “vile submission” (3.1. 74) and is of great offense to Tybalt and even Romeo’s own friend, Mercutio, who decides to defend Romeo’s masculinity by fighting for him. Romeo attempts to interfere, making Mercutio lose focus and giving Tybalt the upper hand and the perfect opportunity to kill Mercutio. The draw would have never happened in the first place if it weren’t for Romeo. Furthermore, Romeo’s emotions become clouded with vengeance and he states that “fury be my conduct now” (3.1. 129) meaning he is being controlled by extreme anger, and slays Tybalt to avenge Mercutio. Tybalt is the first, but not last, person to die at the end of Romeo’s sword. Due to the fact that Romeo is banished because of the murder, he doesn’t take more action until he hears of Juilets death. He completely disregards the punishments he would face if he traveled back to Verona because of his obsession, and he will even kill himself to be with her. Romeo runs into Paris, Juliet’s arranged marriage and almost husband, at Juliet’s tomb. Once again, emotion takes over Romeo in the form of hysteria and desperation. Romeo even warns Paris to “tempt not a desp’rate man” (5.3. 59) or Romeo will kill him. Of course, because of Paris' love for Juliet, he challenges Romeo. Unfortunately, Romeo follows through with his threat and murders Paris, however, he does comply to Paris’ dying wish to lay in the tomb with Juliet. In the same scene, Romeo kills himself at the sight of a seemingly dead Juliet and his final actions after drinking poison that he bought in Mantua, the city Romeo was banished to, is to give Juliet a kiss. As Juliet awakes with the friar by her side, the sight of Romeo is too much to bear. As the watchmen come closer and the friar flees, she kisses Romeo, hoping to ingest any leftover poison that “hang on them” (5.3. 170) and as a last act of love before she stabs herself using Romeo’s dagger. The last death is Lady Montague, Romeo’s mother. We are told by Montague that she died due to her “son’s exile” (5.3. 219) meaning she most likely killed herself over grief of Romeo’s banishment. Though Romeo did not commit each of these murders, he is still a common factor in each one. 

In light of these facts, Romeo is the most guilty. The pressures and confinements of the society make Romeo overly emotional and impulsive. The obsessiveness of Romeo causes him to make rash decisions and overstep boundaries. Though many other ideas and characters play a part in the tragedy, Romeo is the most responsible.