Toxic Family Theme in Pose by Ryan Murphy and Shakespeare’s Sister by Virginia Woolf

In analyzing the works of Pose by Ryan Murphy and Shakespeare’s Sister by Virginia Woolf, the theme of a toxic family arises with the House of Abundance, which can be compared to Judith’s family dynamics, despite the biological differences. In contrast, Judith’s idea of femininity versus Blanca’s are expressed very differently, mostly due to the time periods they exist in. Two very different works, a series written in the 21st century about the 1980’s, and a short story written in 1929 about a woman from the 1500’s, surprisingly have a lot more in common than you would think. Despite the 400-year gap between the two women living, there are parallels to draw from each of their stories which goes to show that society is not progressing as fast as it should be. 

Both Pose and Shakespeare’s Sister deal heavily with the idea of family and how that can affect a child raised in a certain environment. An important distinction to make is that Blanca’s family in Pose is self-made, while Judith’s family in Shakespeare’s Sister is biological. You may think that a family that is chosen would work better than a family that is not, but the House of Abundance is a perfect example of why that is not always the case. Blanca’s house mother, Elektra proves to be toxic and narcissistic repeatedly, telling her children things like, “Shush children and let your mother speak” and “Ideas are ingredients. Only a real mother knows how to prepare them” (Pose, 2018). It seems as if Elektra’s worst fear is Blanca becoming her own House mother, and possibly being a better one that she is. Instead of lifting her children up to help them reach their goals, she verbally abuses them to keep them where they are, beneath her. 

Judith Shakespeare has a similar experience with her family, who constantly tries to keep her suppressed. Although Judith’s parents are not named specifically and are not referenced much, it is implied that they are the ones directing her to live her life a certain why. This is shown in the beginning of the story where Woolf says that William was able to go to grammar school, but Judith was forced to stay home to cook and clean. Judith “was as adventurous, as imaginative, as agog to see the world as he was…”, but she was never given the same luxury of education (Woolf, 2267). She does not state explicitly that her parents were at fault, but it is assumed that they are the ones who sent her brother to grammar school and kept Judith home, despite her being just as determined. As her parents, they must have been aware of Judith’s potential but hindered her ambitions in life because she was a girl. Judith knows this and tries repeatedly to write literature, but she is put down by her own family while her brother is raised up. 

Despite Blanca choosing her family and Judith not, they find themselves in very similar situations. Judith’s parents want to hinder her by making her stay home instead of go to school, while Elektra hinders Blanca by putting her down to keep her in her house. Both situations show a toxic familial environment where both girls are kept from having any kind of authority over their own lives. They both eventually try to leave their households, but the outcomes prove to be very different. Blanca leaves the House of Abundance and starts her own house, the House of Evangelista, where she is able to undo all the toxicity that Elektra projected onto her and her house siblings (Pose, 2018). On the other hand, Judith tries to leave and ends up being laughed at by men for trying to achieve her dreams. Woolf explains it as, “…Nick Greene the actor- manager took pity on her; she found herself with child by that gentleman and so… killed herself one winter’s night…” (Woolf, 2268). In other words, she is raped, impregnated, and eventually commits suicide as a result of her life of hardship. The differing outcomes have a lot to do with the time period gap, as society was much more brutal towards independent women in the 1500s. It is interesting, though, how these two women could have such similar beginnings in their respective households but have such polar opposite resolutions.

Blanca and Judith’s family units do not just push certain life-goal expectations, they also push certain ideas of femininity and what a girl “should be.” Their situations can be similar and different in ways, but it is compelling that between the 1560s and the 1980s there are still expectations put on young women for what femininity should look and act like. As expected with the setting, Judith’s family pushes traditional values on their daughter the most. They, along with most people of the time, feel that a woman is subservient to her husband and to men in general. Woolf writes that when Judith says her marriage was hateful, her father beats her in response. After this did not work, he begged her not to embarrass him and tried to bribe her into staying with her husband (Woolf, 2268). This is because being a woman meant being loyal to the men in your lives, regardless of how they treat you. Judith’s father wants her to uphold this idea of a “good wife” and sees it as embarrassing to him if she does not keep up this façade. Judith’s femininity is defined by what she can provide a man.

Fast forward to the 1980s, the idea of what “being a woman” means in still prevalent in society. Although in Blanca’s case her expectations are more physical and appearance-based than Judith’s, they are still there and weigh heavily on her. There is another layer to her struggles though because she is a transgender woman, which puts even more emphasis on her to express femininity than a cisgender woman. In a world where some may see Blanca as “not a real woman,” it is important to her and other trans-women of her time to be what society deems a “girl.” This is pushed on her mostly by her house mother, Elektra, who once says, “You are not on my level… Look at me, look at you… I can pass” (Pose, 2018). She is implying that she is somehow better than Blanca, in some way, because she can “pass” meaning that people assume she is a cisgender woman. Elektra’s behavior rubs off on other children in the house, as well, perpetuating this mentality that a trans-woman must exude a certain type of femininity to be validated. To mock Blanca, one of her house siblings calls her a “cross-dresser” and everyone laughs at her. Despite the House of Abundance being made up of mostly trans-women, there is still a level of internalized transphobia and sexism that sets expectations for what a “real woman” should look like. 

The two women’s families perpetuate the idea that their daughters be the perfect woman, whatever that means to them. The idea of femininity can be subjective and has definitely changed over time. In Judith’s time, being a woman was solely linked to biology and someone like Blanca would have never been allowed to exist how they wanted to. This shows that some real progresses have been made in that regard, but that does not dismiss the fact that in 400 years women are still held to a standard that, if not met, they are not seen as worthy. The definition of femininity may differ as time goes on, but the ever-present “bar” women must meet will most likely always exist in some form or another.

The analyzation of both Pose and Shakespeare’s Sister brought to light several similarities and differences. Judith and Blanca’s families both diminish their ambitions and prove to create a toxic environment for the girls to grow in. They also set an unrealistic example of femininity, which results in the girls questioning their worth in relation to this expectation. Both women struggle with sexism and misogyny, but Blanca has another layer because she has to also face transphobia from her own family. It would be a vast understatement to say no progress has been made, because it obviously has, but it is sad that after four centuries parallels can still be drawn between Judith and Blanca’s lives. Both tales are fiction but are based off very real stories and very real experiences that women go through every day. Hopefully, this is a wake-up call to us as a society to treat our families with respect and dignity, and to let women express themselves in any way they may please because the outcome could be detrimental to the minds of young women everywhere.