Essay on My Father

Growing up I always wanted to be around my dad, help out on the farm, go to softball games and even just sit out back listening to old country music. If it involved my dad, I was there.

My dad is a second-generation farmer,  he has taught me how to be independent. This made me look up to him when I was young, because the rest of my family made me feel like a kid, and never be anything but a kid.

When I would help him on the farm he would put me to work, bottle feeding calves, sorting cattle, and helping with vaccinations and listings. When I was with him I was not a child, I was a co-worker. I fell in love with being mature, he fell in love with the idea of his daughter going into farming.

I was his golden child, everything I did was right. I looked up to him and he looked to me for anything. This all changed when I expressed my interest in the human services pathway. Once I told him I wanted to pursue a career outside of farming, things changed.

I always knew that he wanted me to pursue farming, but after hearing him say,

“You won't ever be happy, you're only picking up others' mistakes, I thought I raised you differently”, everything burned to the ground. I felt that everything that I was passionate about was a joke.

I felt like I had disappointed my dad, I felt anxious that I would not be happy, I felt that I wasted my high school years, and I would never find success. I felt embarrassed because he made me think I made the wrong choice in my future.

My dad was the person who taught me independence and to make my own choices, but as soon as I chose not to pursue farming my authority was ripped away. I felt as if I no longer had a say when it comes to making decisions about my own life.

This was a turning point, I always wanted to please my dad, but for the first time in a long while I am standing up for myself and what I want to do. I am looking for a future that I enjoy, not one that is planned out by my dad. I want to show him that I can be successful without being in agriculture and show I am his independent daughter.

I worked hard to earn independence and authority. I know that my dad will always hold the higher authority but I have taken authority over my life and my decisions. I have always been interested in helping people and understanding problems. I have tried to look at people-based agriculture careers, but I never found a true interest in any of them.

I have concluded that I might mess up in life, and when I do I should be able to go to my family for support. However, they no longer need to hold my hand through every step, I am done with them dragging me in the other direction. This is the independence that I want, one where I am in charge of my own life, not the independence that is chosen for me.