Article Analysis of "Creating a Secure Relationship" by Elizabeth Earnshaw (Essay Sample)

Have you ever had a friend confide in you that their relationship didn't work out because they didn't have any "communication"? or that they couldn't understand each other? In an article by Elizabeth Earnshaw, she stated that "If you struggle to communicate in a way that evolves your relationship, then over time you will find that you grow apart." People often forget that, like everything else, communication with others has its own set of etiquettes and ethics. The article written by Elizabeth Earnshaw has a lot of good points as to why people in relationships have a difficult time communicating with each other, especially in a digital age where most of our communication are done online. This could not only apply to couples but to friends and family too. 

Before we get into it, what are the ethics and etiquette when it comes to communication exactly? Well, it's a broad topic, and there are numerous ways to define both. Basically, etiquette is a set of ground rules that govern behavior. It's how you talk to the person in a way that respects them as a person. While ethics in communication is a broad topic, it can be summed up by the way people use language and other means to communicate with values in mind. 

According to the article, some of the signs of a bad relationship are passive aggression, criticizing or belittling each other, a lack of compromise, and others. For this exam, we'll be focusing on those three signs. Passive aggression between people could lead to misunderstandings and could potentially cause more conflict. Criticizing and belittling each other can lead to damaged feelings and the fall of a relationship, and lastly, a lack of compromise and hearing each other out for different reasons. All these signs didn't show any ethics nor etiquettes. It's the exact opposite. This could have negative consequences such as negative perceptions of one another, loneliness, and turning away from one another. According to the same article, "If you struggle to communicate in a way that evolves your relationship, then over time you will find that you grow apart."

We could see that without proper communication and etiquette and ethics present, it could potentially ruin a relationship and it would have a lot of negative effects. For communication to work and be well interpreted by another person, for example, two people talking, one person was talking, and the other was just listening to whatever the other was talking about, because that's good etiquette. Another example is saying something that could be embarrassing or hurt another's feelings shouldn't be aired out and instead be addressed privately. 

As for the solutions to this problem, the article gives some, and they're really well written and provide good points. If we'll give our own solutions to communication problems in relationships, it is that people should try and hear out each other's parts. As a college student, I have seen a lot of my peers enter into relationships that ended because of communication problems. I'm not a great person when it comes to this topic, but if somebody asked me generally, what would I do? I would suggest talking openly to each other in private. Of course, being able to understand each other's grievances could lead to better understanding of each other's boundaries and opinions.