Know My Name by Chanel Miller Analysis Essay Example

If you are not a victim of sexual assault it may be extremely difficult to fathom what a victim has to endure after being sexually assaulted. All victims, however, understand each other. They understand the pain they must live with for the rest of their lives. The pain they feel is similar, regardless of the circumstances of the assault. All victims must learn to heal without forgetting. In Chanel Miller’s “Know My Name,” Miller shares the story of her sexual assault and everything that happened following it. Her work was worth my while to read because it allowed me to understand the stages a victim must go through in order to heal. After her assault, Miller experienced denial, shame, depression, anger, and finally hope. 

Miller’s mindset directly after the assault confirms that she was in denial and shameful.  Only days after the assault, “[Miller] was convinced the police would tell [her] a man tried to do something but did not succeed… In fact, [she] was so sure that this was all an error, that when [her] sister asked if [she] was going to tell [their] parents, [she] said, Maybe in a few years” (21). She did not want to accept the fact that she was assaulted, not only because she does not remember it, but also because acknowledging it means acknowledging all the pain, questions, and disbelief that comes with being a victim. Miller realizes that she had two choices-- she could either try to forget and live her life the way she hoped or she could accept what happened and relive her experiences to find justice. Both choices would leave her with a long healing journey.

Miller's story is released to the media, and she begins to note the amount of support for her rapist and the lack of support for herself. The man who raped Miller was a young, successful Stanford swimmer who was very active in the school's community. People did not seem to understand that just because he was capable of respectable things at his school did not mean that he was not capable of doing horrific things outside of school. Even though she attempted to conceal her pain from her family and the public, there were “many nights [where she] went to sleep with [her] eyes leaking, arriving at work the next morning with eyelids swollen and taut” (54). At this point in the book, we begin to understand how a lack of support takes a toll on Miller’s mental health. She was depressed and broken, even though she pretended to be okay. Almost a year after the assault as the trial was approaching, “[she] found [herself] exactly where [she] started… Trauma was refusing to adhere to any schedule” (126). In the years following being raped, Miller is overwhelmed with anger, depression, and grief. She continues to keep her experience private, which forces her to endure most of the pain alone. 

Long after the assault and trial,  the MeToo movement begins to flourish. Women all over the world share their sexual assault stories. Finally, women are believed instead of having their sanity questioned. Miller feels like she can finally breathe-- like she finally has the capability to speak up and make a change. When victims speak up, it is not for their well-being: “We don’t fight for our own happy endings. We fight to say you can’t. We fight for accountability. We fight to establish precedent. We fight because we pray we’ll be the last ones to feel this kind of pain” (291). Miller is able to realize that putting a face and name to her sexual assault story will allow other women to have the courage to speak up. If women stand up for themselves and fight the system, there may be a time when men do not win. So, Chanel Miller decides to release her name and her story. She believes that “victims exist in a society that tells us our purpose is to be an inspiring story. But sometimes the best we can do is tell you we're still here, and that should be enough” (312). In the last stage of recovery, Miller fights for justice and redemption and feels hopeful for the future.

All victims may experience different stages in order to heal. Miller’s work allowed me to comprehend the complex process she had to go through to move forward with her life without forgetting her past.