Essay Sample on Gender

As we grow up, our surroundings will alter and shape who we are as people. Our environment and the people around us, such as our parents, peers, schooling, and opinions, establish who we are. As of 2021, the term “gender-fluid” or “sexual- orientation” has become quite well-known as society has become very accepting of personal expression. As a young child, you socially learn from your parents, you watch their mannerisms, behavior, and actions, and then replicate those into your daily life as you grow older. Our parents become a stepping stone of who we become, for example, the way your parents raised you from the start can greatly influence your comfortability and accessibility with your sexual identity. 

We live in a society where the term “coming out” is associated with negativity and abnormalness. Homosexuals are expected to announce their sexuality while heterosexual people are given the privilege of having their identity pre-planned. For instance, there are “gender-reveal parties” where we mold children into a box of “girl or boy” before they have the chance to explore themselves. These gender reveal parties also have established colors that match the “gender” of the baby such as blue with a boy and pink with a girl. In most cases, millions of families across the world continue to hold this tradition as a way of getting extended family together to celebrate their miracle, but interestingly enough a non-conforming home allows for the child to feel free to discover their own gender identity.  According to the BBC, gender reveal parties shut out children from being celebrated for who they are,  all while “preventing girls from studying traditionally masculine subjects like maths and science and instill in boys the belief that it is "feeble" to express emotions”. A neutral home includes both types of toys like trucks, barbies, dress-up/house, and dragons regardless of the sex; it would also include a bedroom painted yellow, gray, or white instead of the typical blue or pink. In addition, one can also ask what the child's preferred pronouns are instead of assuming that the sex of the baby determines the child's gender. Today, many people on Miami’s college campus have pins on their shirts with their pronouns which allow for non-conforming individuals to feel more comfortable using their preferred pronouns. The environment you are welcomed into begins with your parents, and it is evident on Miami's campus that students expressing themselves freely either feel comfortable in Oxford or have open-minded peers back home.

The type of parent in terms of their sexuality can influence how comfortable a young child feels experimenting with their own. For example, the parents who are in a same-sex relationship will bring familiarity because they do know what it is like to come out, deal with discrimination, and navigate the journey of finding themselves. One thing that same-sex relationships can bring to the table that heterosexual couples cannot is a personal experience. Connecting with your child can look different for everyone, but it is crucial that they feel as if you know what they are going through. Something also to consider in terms of having homosexual parents is if their parents were accepting of their journey; typically the X generation and Baby Boomers generations didn’t have words like bisexual or homosexual in their vocabulary so being gay was seen as unrelateable. If your grandparents were not accepting of your mother being bisexual, she would potentially want to create a different experience for you than what she had. We can learn from the mistakes of the older generation to raise our children differently. 

In addition to the acceptance that your parents offer you in the discovering process, celebration must occur after the initial shock of coming out. In the past, welcoming parents have posted rainbow flags on their porch, bought rainbow shirts, acquired car stickers, and most importantly, embraced you and your significant other. Regardless of how comfortable you feel accepting that part of yourself, having your family and loved ones continue to care for you no matter your sexual orientation creates an even stronger bond and sense of comfort. If a parent devalues their child's feelings, the family dynamic could potentially collapse because of resentment toward the parent. Similarly, not only would there be anger towards parents, but the child’s sense of self would begin to come into question as their loved ones don’t support who they are on the inside. The long-term support of loved ones is tremendously more crucial as the parents fulfill the promise of unconditional love. 

A person's freedom to be themselves is not only influenced by their parents, but also by their state or community. My upbringing in Connecticut exposed me to a wide range of people and beliefs in New York. For instance, there are pride flags hung proudly from apartment railings, rainbow murals on the streets, festivals, and most importantly diverse individuals that create an environment for everyone to be themselves. Fashion in New York is filled with colors, patterns, and vibrance, as well as not much clothing, which allows the transgender community to embrace their new body. Kids who grow up in a place where homosexuality is publicly accepted, can observe this behavior and interpret it as acceptable; similarly, the document "Individualism" claims that to fully discover oneself, we must "enrich one's personality by acquiring new experiences and transforming them into self-knowledge". The more people who are unapologetically themselves, the safer it becomes for those who are afraid of being who they are. On the contrary, the state of Texas does not have an environment that embodies homosexuality and freedom of expression. There is a higher concentration of Christianity and Republican beliefs where homosexuality is seen as a sin; for instance, in 2017, Republican Senator, Dan Patrick announced that a law will be put in place where “transgender people must use facilities comporting with their sex assigned at birth to ensure privacy and safety” (Guardian). Texas is home to some non-conforming people, but officials don't accept or recognize them as who they truly are, but instead place them into a box and expect them to obey. The difference between New York and Texas isn’t that there are fewer homosexuals in the South, but that there is a greater amount of love in the air rather than hatred in New York. 

Your family, upbringing, and town strongly influence how content we are expressing our truest selves. The sex we are assigned at birth can feel like a mold we are expected to bind to; but the choice of gender is up to what you feel on the inside, not what others believe you to be. To find appreciation for oneself, you must be surrounded by people who want that for you as well.