She's Not There Book Analysis Essay Example

“She’s Not There” follows the life of the transgender author named Jennifer Boylan and her confusing journey with her identity. Growing up as a male, Jenny Boylan has always felt like she was in the wrong body, or that something about her was missing. When Boylan woke up in the morning she felt like a female, just like every other female would. However, she was not biologically female even though she felt it on the inside. It was obvious to her, but she continued to deny it and tell herself she was being ridiculous. Throughout her childhood, she would often try on and wear her mother and sister’s clothing when they weren’t home. Throughout her teenage years and early adulthood, she went on many dates, trying to cure her transsexuality. She believed that love would cure her transsexuality. Eventually, Boylan met a woman named Grace, got married, and became a father to two children. Boylan however was not cured by love and her deep desire to be a woman never left her. She still felt like a woman inside and she constantly felt like she was living the wrong life. At the age of 40 transitioning would be more complicated and difficult, would Boylan leave her child fatherless or leave her wife without a husband? Boylan didn’t want to let her family and the people she loved down. When Boylan finally mustered up the courage to tell her wife, Grace, that she was transexual her wife didn’t seem to pay it too much attention. The couple went shopping for female clothes together and would spend time together as females. However, Boylan felt that simply dressing up was not enough, so she went to gender therapy and received support for transitioning from male to female. Boylan then realizes the losses and life changes she will have to endure from transitioning, such as losing her wife and children. When Boylan introduced the idea of fully transitioning to her wife, things became complicated between the two. Grace didn’t want Jenny Boylan, the female, she wanted Jim Boylan, her husband and father of her kids. Despite this, Grace didn’t want to give up on their marriage and wanted to be there for Boylan and help her through one of the most difficult transitions of her life. Although Grace didn’t fully understand Boylan and their relationship is unclear, she still wants to be with Boylan for who she is, regardless of gender. Even if this was hard for the two, they couldn’t just simply give up on the life they built together during the 12 years they were together. But they both knew their relationship would never be the same. At age 42, Jenny Boylan started taking Estrogen supplements. Grace and Boylan’s two children also learned about Boylan’s transition and how to cope with being raised by 2 mothers instead of both a mother and a father. Slowly, Boylan began revealing her true identity as a woman to those around her. Of course, she received lots of backlash and opposition toward her transition, but Boylan also received lots of love and support from those whom she loved. When Boylan finally reaches the end of her journey of transitioning into a woman, she doesn’t regret a single thing. Because deep down, she has always been Jenny Boylan, a female, her entire life.

This book gives an optimistic and positive insight on what it is like to transition. I think the best thing this book does is explain how someone who is transexual feels about themselves. How they feel trapped inside a body that doesn’t belong to them and how they feel lost. As a cis female, this is something that I will never experience or understand. The author did an amazing job telling her story in a way that was informative but also uplifting and inspiring. I recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t understand what the transgender community goes through and how it feels to be transitioning in our society. It was interesting as well to see how the authors transition impacted her relationships, especially with her wife. It was very admirable how they remained as a supportive couple through the tough and confusing journey they experienced. Throughout the book I thought to myself how difficult it would be to go through something so drastic, like a gender shift. I felt empathetic, confused, and proud all at the same time. After reading this book, I feel a lot more understanding and accepting of the trans community.