Personal Reflective Essay: Hockey in My Life

“Get off the ice terrorist”, “bhindi head”. These are just some of the spiteful names I have been called as I play hockey being a different skin color then most players. These are examples of the bad parts of playing hockey. But I actually love hockey.

Even if I’m called derogatory names while I play. Hockey is my escape in life. Being on the ice can cure any sickness, negativity in my life, and even stress. At the end of the day that’s how I deal with all the hate. I never let those names get to me. I always take them and smile and give them a laugh. I am not laughing at the joke either, I am laughing at the person saying the joke. I see them as someone who is trying to put people down.

Enough with the negative examples! Hockey is where I’ve had the most memories with all the teams I have played for. Whether that be pre-game warmups, tournaments, or playing mini-sticks in the hotel hallway at an away tournament. I have always seen my hockey teammates as my best friends. They were never the ones calling me the racist names. They would be the ones who would stick up for me. They understood my struggle, and they helped me. One of the best things about my teammates was they were always available to talk if I was ever struggling, that was a huge part that kept this racism from getting to me. 

The memory that comes to mind when thinking about my life as a brown hockey player is when I was thirteen at an away tournament. The tournament was going to be really fun, I was able to be in a hotel with all my friends, and I was playing hockey all weekend. But then it was the first game and we were down 2-2 after the first period. Then the second period started and it was my first shit. I overheard the other team talking to each other at the face off dot, and I heard one of the opponents say, “well the curry muncher over here isn’t scoring”. My mind had completely froze. I was appalled. Then the puck dropped, and the puck got on my stick. I ripped a shot and the puck went in the top left corner of the net. And my teammates and I celebrated right in front of the other team. I looked over at the player who called me that terrible name, and I smiled and laughed.

That moment is so memorable to me because I was the one who won that battle. He called me that name to try and put me down. But little did the other player know that those comments drove me. Looking back on this moment today I take two lifelong lessons out of it, be the bigger person, and don’t let other people put you down.  

The lessons I took from this moment have shaped me into the person I am today. I always try to be the best version of myself. And when someone tries to bring me down with their negative energy, I just smile and laugh. 

That one memory has stuck with me for so long solely as inspiration for me. This story is a learning experience, as I remember how great it is to be diverse, I should embrace my diversity instead of fighting back. This story has also taught me instead of fighting fire with fire, you fight fire with water. When you fight back against fire you’ll get burned. It is not worth fighting. If you can clear the mean names you’ll make your life a lot happier. As I grow older I still do the same thing when I get called a derogatory name, I smile and laugh. I will never stop doing that, I will never give into the hate.