Personal Narrative Essay: My Motive

I’ve always had the urge to help, even as a child. I’d see the adults in my life struggling to make ends meet and I thought having someone beside them would make things better. I see my friends encounter an issue and put my all into their personal needs to aid them in any way possible. I couldn’t ever see myself allowing anyone to struggle, especially struggling alone. If there is going to be a battle within one's life, I’d want to be the one to support and prompt them to get through it. My motivation to guide others with mental and physical troubles is more powerful than I thought it could be. Especially with the obstacles I had growing up. A perfect family life nowadays seems unobtainable. Broken families are becoming the new benchmark. A helpful way a broken family could be healed is by an outside perspective. Someone who doesn’t exactly see what is behind closed doors, but someone who can open those doors and heal what's inside. 

During my life, I saw and still see what not to be as an adult. In my world, I’ve gone through hell and back, to someone else that could be just another day. I grew up with a very selfish father, it was him before all. There were times when he would get physical and I never knew why, I always questioned his impulse behind his way of expressing his anger. My mother who I love dearly has a hard time expressing love; I accept that because though some mothers could drown their child in affection, that was something that seemed to be missing in my life. What was her reasoning for holding back? My two oldest sisters struggled with addiction; they stole, fought, and raged through their teenage years. Why was this their way to cope? At times I pushed past all the flaws that some projected, but sometimes it's hard to move on through that alone. One of my hardest obstacles was realizing that I get my way of loving from my mother. She seems like a cold, heartless person to anyone else. Only the people who have witnessed her love can love her, the same as me. However, once you get past that, she is the most kind-hearted and warm person you’ve ever met.  It was hard for me to learn how to trust because I always thought, “What could this random person possibly know about my life?”. Until I realized that the only way to stop struggling is to heal. I had a couple of therapists growing up as a child but never one that I trusted, it was difficult to find someone who didn’t make it feel as if they were there only for the money. Though everyone has struggled within their life, my struggles pushed me to try and be as successful as I can. I yearn to further my education in psychology behind these mechanisms and the effects it has on other people because I am apprehensive of how they affected me. 

This has brought me to realize that many kids in the world feel this way and go through very similar experiences. They will never understand the motives behind the actions of other people in their lives. Having that one person in their life to express their process within those times would change their life drastically. Especially if it is with someone who has also gone through traumatic experiences. My person (people) were my friends and other family members; though it was hard to have them get the attention of authority to address the situation. My motive is to be able to help the adolescents that haven't figured out what the motives in their life mean yet by going into the field of child psychology.